Time for potty training? Here's the latest advice on how to manage it

“It’s time to potty train.” The moment many parents look forward to and dread in equal measure. On the one hand, no more nappies! No more dragging a changing bag everywhere! On the other hand, accidents in pants! Having to find another way to carry your snacks (and wipes, and gloves, and purse and...)! Teaching your toddler how to use the toilet can be daunting, so we’ve investigated the latest guidance (informed by scientific research) and gathered what you need to know.

Potty training is one of the areas of parenting which feels incredibly important, but potentially challenging too. There’s a mountain of information out there being shared online, by friends and family and by professionals. The quality of advice, and research, can vary enormously and can also become outdated quickly as new research is carried out.

We approach all our research and advice from an evidence-based viewpoint here at MFFY, so you know everything we write about is backed up by science. With this in mind, we feel it’s important to say that there is still some debate in the scientific community about when and how to potty train. New studies are being done all the time, and for some aspects of potty training there is simply a lack of good-quality clinical evidence.

We have reviewed the research and evidence available and will continue to give you the most accurate and useful advice based on this. But we also constantly review and assess our articles based on new evidence – so this may not be the last you hear from us when it comes to potty training advice!

Potty training advice for parents from ERIC (the UK’s children’s bladder and bowel charity) has recently been updated based on clinical evidence and research compiled by ERIC and their partners. We feel strongly that this approach reflects good levels of research and evidence, which is why we’re sharing it with you.

Give your toddler a chance to feel familiar with their potty, and their body.

Make sure you have given your toddler time to try out their potty and get used to the feeling of sitting on it; you can involve them in lots of the skills they need to use a potty without the pressure of having a wee or poo. We have lots of ideas to help with getting ready here and here.

Using disposable nappies can make it harder for your toddler to notice what it feels like when they’ve done a wee, because nappies are so good at keeping the layer close to their skin feeling dry. This is fantastic for avoiding nappy rash, but can make it harder to help young children understand what it means to feel wet and need to change.

You might choose to start putting a pair of pants on your child under their nappy, or putting a small piece of soft fabric in their nappy, when you’re getting ready to potty train. This will allow your toddler to experience the feeling of having had a wee so they can let you know right away (you’ll need to change them as soon as possible to avoid nappy rash).

Is it time to potty train? How to decide when to start.

Advice from bladder and bowel charities is that most children will be ready to start potty training around 18 months old, and that it is best to try to potty train between 18 and 30 months.^{[1, 2]}

It’s important to note that age is not everything here. If you know you’re coming up to a time of change for your toddler, it is probably not a good time to start potty training.

Big events like having a new baby, starting or changing nursery or moving house (along with anything else that might disrupt your routine or feel overwhelming) don’t mix well with potty training, so waiting for things to calm down will mean your toddler has a better chance of success.

You also want to wait until your toddler has a healthy bowel, so they should be drinking plenty of water throughout the day and feel comfortable pooing. If they are struggling with constipation or urine infections, wait until these are completely resolved before you start potty training.

When you’re ready to start potty training, what should you do?

Talk about it! Speak to the people who care for your toddler about what you’re planning and how you would like them to support you with potty training. Talk to your toddler too, and explain that you are going to stop using nappies. They (and you) might find this surprisingly emotional, so allow time to do this gently and let them know their feelings about it are being heard.

Think about easy outfits. Make sure your toddler has outfits to wear which they can manage when they need to use the potty. Things that are loose, and they can easily pull up and down, are perfect.

Have a way to communicate about the toilet. It could be using words, gestures or signs, but however your toddler prefers to communicate, make sure you are using a consistent way to say, ‘I need a wee/poo’. Tell other people who care for your toddler what their ways of communicating about the toilet are, and encourage your toddler to be brave about using them with you and other adults.

Take the plunge! Start using the potty, and stop using nappies.

This is the scariest part, but remember that all the hard work you and your toddler have put in up to this point through potty learning will be supporting them now.

Encourage your toddler to use the potty at key times, such as after waking up, after eating or drinking or if you notice signs your toddler needs the toilet. Every toddler is different, but you’ll become familiar with your little one’s way of expressing they need to go.
Use the words, gestures or signs your toddler can use to say they need the toilet whenever you take them (or use the toilet yourself). Encourage this habit so your toddler feels really confident using them with other people too.
Show your toddler how to clean up after they have been to the potty, and make washing hands a fun part of the routine every time.
Encourage them to try to pull their trousers up and down themselves. They will probably need your help at first, as these skills require lots of practice and fine motor movements which get more controlled over time.
Make sitting on the potty feel relaxed and fun – they could have some washable toys to look at or you could have a chat with them while they sit on the potty. And keep it short, they only need to sit on the potty for a couple of minutes.
If they have an accident, don’t tell them off, just change them and carry on helping them get to the potty when they need to.

Remember, for now the goal is for them not to have accidents and to use the potty successfully. It is not for them to use the potty independently! They are still very young and will need an adult to help them go to the potty and clean up afterwards.

If things are feeling tricky, or worse, we’ve answered some common questions about potty training worries in our article: Troubleshooting potty training.

References:

[1] ‘Potty training: how to start & best age to potty train’ by ERIC: the children’s bowel & bladder charity (undated). Published online, available here: Potty training: how to start & best age to potty train

[2] ‘Children’s bladder and bowel issues: Some fables and facts’ by Davina Richardson (children's specialist nurse) for Bladder & Bowel UK. (2020). Published online, available here: Children's bladder and bowel issues: Some fables and facts