Your name is on the tip of my tongue – why can’t I remember it?
You’re walking down the street when you spot someone familiar; as you get closer, you desperately try to think of their name. Your brain is filled with information about them, just not the detail you need and, worst of all, they remember your name. We’ve all been there, and you might feel it's happening more often since you became a parent – with a brain full of other things to remember and organise.
Forgetting people’s names is a common mistake,[1] not that this makes us feel any better about it. But why does the name of a person escape us just as we need to access it? And is there anything you can do to make it less likely you’ll forget the name of the nice lady at the baby group (again)?
Scientists have been trying to figure out why it is that we forget people’s names, and studies show that there’s more than one reason for it.
Here, we’ve broken down the theories into bite-sized chunks for you to mull over:
Their name is often the last piece of information we receive.
In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s some studies found that when we meet people, we first establish familiarity with their face, then with personal information, and finally with their name.[2]
So, when we see someone, their face will jog our memories for information like who they are the parent of, their nationality, where they work and such, but their name doesn’t immediately come flooding back.[3,4]
This can feel especially familiar when you think of learning the names of all the new parents – and their children – that you meet at the park, in cafes, at classes and perhaps at nursery too.
Names contain little information, and the brain struggles to make a connection.
Further studies discovered that when study participants were asked to remember the surname and occupation of familiar faces, the profession was remembered more than the name.[5]
This is called the ‘Baker-baker paradox’[6, 7] and is thought to be because names are random and hold no specific information in them, and the brain is more likely to forget it, whereas you may know a few people in the same line of work., strengthening those connections in your memory.
It could also be to do with how we’ve learned a person’s name.
If we’ve heard about them through conversations and have built up a bit of a picture of them in our heads, their names will be easier for us to recall. Whereas if we meet someone for the first time, we might find it harder to recall their name as our brains are taking in lots of information and building a picture of them at the same time as being introduced.
How often we see someone can affect how we remember names.
The more times we see people, the more likely we are to remember their names.
'Next-in-line' effect also suggests that we fail to remember names because we are focusing on introducing ourselves.[8]
Instead of watching and listening to the other person, the brain starts focusing on its own routine – what you'll say and how you'll say it.
If you find that you struggle to remember someone’s name, here are a few tips that might help you feel more confident calling out to them next time you meet:
- Boost your brain’s connections by saying the name out loud, and often. This can be done in the comfort of your own home, after meeting someone or before going somewhere you know they will be likely to be. Writing names down (perhaps along with a note about how you know them) is also a perfectly acceptable way to remember who’s who.
- When you’re meeting someone new, see if you can find out what their name means or where it originates from. Seeking more information may help embed the person’s name.
- Make an association between the person and their name. This could be something linked to a feature of that person, someone famous they may remind you of, or the job they do. Reminding yourself 'Lily loves leggings, she wears them to rhyme time’ or similar mental links can help embed those names in your mind... just try to avoid muttering the reminder aloud next time you see them!
References:
[1] Burton, A. M., Jenkins, R., & Robertson, D. J. (2019) ‘I recognise your name but I can’t remember your face: An advantage for names in recognition memory’. Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, 72(7), 1847–1854.
[2] Bruce, V., & Young, A. W. (1986) ‘Understanding face recognition’. British Journal of Psychology, 77, 305–327.
[3] Young, A. W., Ellis, A. W., & Flude, B. M. (1988) ‘Accessing stored information about familiar people’. Psychological Research, 50(2), 111–115.
[4] Johnston, R. A., & Bruce, V. (1990). ‘Lost properties? Retrieval differences between name codes and semantic codes for familiar people’. Psychological Research, 52(1), 62–67.
[5] McWeeny, K., Young, A.W., Hay D., Ellis, A.W. (1987) ‘Putting names to faces’. British Journal of Psychology, 73, 143-149.
[6] Choen, G. (1990) ‘Why it is difficult to put names to faces?’ British Journal of Psychology, 81- 287-297.
[7]Burton, A.M., Bruce, V. (1992) ‘I recognize your face but I can’t remember your name: A simple explanation?’ British Journal of Psychology, 83, 46-60.
[8] Moffit, M., Brown, G. (2015) ‘Why is it so hard to remember someone’s name?’ AsapSCIENCE