Why taking turns and sharing is much harder than it seems

Do you find it almost impossible to have your turn when playing with your toddler? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone! Learning to take turns and share is not easy and uses social, emotional and cognitive skills your toddler hasn’t mastered just yet. 

Things to think about that might help... 

Try having lots of stuff available when other children come to play 

This is when playing with the recycling can be really useful!  

Have a collection of cardboard boxes, kitchen towel and toilet paper tubes, lids and plastic bottles. All clean and checked for safety – so no very small or sharp bits.  

Your toddler and their friend might still decide they both want the same box, but this could be a way for them to play with the same/similar things alongside each other and reduce the need for turn-taking.  

Put away favourite or precious toys when you have visitors 

If your toddler has a particular favourite toy then don’t expect them to share this – putting it away is one way to show this will not be shared.  

Don’t get involved straight away 

If your toddler and a friend both want the same toy or object, don’t step in straight away – unless someone is getting hurt.  

Watch for a little while and see if the toddlers can understand each other’s point of view and find a way to settle their disagreement themselves.  

Watching for a little while can also help you think about how to help if you need to; you will see if the toy or object is an important part of one child’s game and so might be difficult for them to give up.  

Taking turns and sharing involves understanding other people’s points of view, ideas and emotions – that is really hard so your toddler will sometimes need your help.