What we really mean when we say your baby can play 'independently'

Your baby might be beginning to play alone for short periods of time, and this can often be called playing ‘independently’. You might be wondering how they could be expected to play all on their own at this stage. But when we talk about playing independently, we mean your baby being able to play without you leading their ideas.  

This doesn’t mean that you won’t be there with them, especially while they are still at a stage when separation anxiety can be particularly common. You can encourage your baby to play independently while you are close by, and even while you are interacting with them.  

It’s all about letting your baby lead the play and following their ideas 

You might place your baby down next to you and simply sit back quietly and watch. If they make eye contact or initiate communication with you, respond to them by showing interest in what they are doing or asking a question about it.  

Try to let them move to the toys they are interested in, and don’t make suggestions about how they use them. Your baby might surprise you with their creativity as they use something in a way you never would have imagined!  

Don’t be worried if they don’t look like they’re playing... or doing much at all! 

Babies need time to think, daydream and explore ideas, just like we do. They might spend some time lying down near their toys, or exploring lots of objects without stopping to play in a more traditional way, but this doesn’t mean they need you to step in and offer an idea.  

If they ask for you to join in through gestures, sounds or eye contact, you could bring their attention to one or two toys and encourage them to explore these.  

The more opportunities they have to take some time to themselves and decide what to do, the more easily they will be able to find ways to play when you’re not available to give them 100% of your focus.  

You’re setting the groundwork for the future by giving your baby time and space to play  

Although for now they are likely to only be able to sustain this kind of independent play for very short periods (minutes, for the most part), over time they will begin to be comfortable with it for longer. This will allow you to begin to move away a little and even give you short bursts of time to get other jobs done – or simply run to the toilet – knowing your child is playing happily.