Even though using negative words doesn’t sound very positive, it's important that your child begins to understand, process and use these words.
We like to think of negative words as being opposites, so if you are waiting for a train, you might say, “The train isn’t at the station,” when it arrives, the opposite phrase being, “The train is at the station.”
To understand a negative sentence or question, your child needs to make correct associations between the words you are saying.[1] So perhaps you see a bird flying and your child says, “A plane!” If you answer, “That isn’t a plane.” They may still think it is a plane as they’ve misunderstood the word, ‘isn’t.’
Your child needs to interpret all the words to make meaning of sentences and questions.
Although little research has been done on how young children learn and comprehend negatives, what is known is that they are more difficult to understand.[1,2,3]
This means your child will probably take longer to think about what you’ve said and try to draw a logical conclusion.[4] For example, if they are looking for their shoes and you tell them their shoes aren't there, they might have to consider your words for a while longer. They might expect you to tell them their shoes are there and think you’ve found them. When they see they aren’t there, then they might understand.
This can make having a conversation quite tricky, as negatives are commonly used when we talk to each other.
Negatives form part of many conversations, not only for expressing opposition, but also when we try to soften our words so they don’t sound too direct, or when we infer things and when we have low self-belief.[3]
It’s quite common to infer information when we are talking. We might say, “Isn’t it sunny today?” when we mean, ‘It is sunny today.’
When you do use negatives in your conversations and chats, think about giving your child a little more time to understand what’s been said.
Your child will need to hear the negatives like ‘isn't’, ‘won’t’, ‘aren't’ and ‘can't’ a lot while they are starting to understand and process them.
When you are out and about, think about how you may use a negative sentence to help them learn and understand when and how to use them.
References:
[1] de Carvalho. A., Crimon. C., Barrault. A., Trueswell. J., Christophe. A. (2021) "Look! It is not a bamoule!": 18- and 24-month-olds can use negative sentences to constrain their interpretation of novel word meanings. Developmental Science. 2021 Jul;24(4):e13085. doi: 10.1111/desc.13085.
[2] Doyle, A.W., Friesen, K., Reimer, S., Pexman, P.M. (2019) Grasping the Alternative: Reaching and Eyegaze Reveal Children's Processing of Negation. Frontiers in Psychology. 2019 May 24;10:1227. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01227.
[3] Farshchi, S., Andersson, A., van de Weijer, J., Paradis, C. (2023) Brain responses to negated and affirmative meanings in the auditory modality. Frontiers Human Neuroscience. 2023 Jan 19;17:1079493. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2023.1079493.
[4] Grigoroglou, M., Ganea, P.A. (2022) Language as a mechanism for reasoning about possibilities. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences. 2022 Dec 19;377(1866):20210334. doi: 10.1098/rstb.2021.0334.