One simple way to help your baby build a healthy relationship with their feelings
Your baby might be getting more curious about other people’s emotions, and watch closely when others react with feeling. They are developing an understanding that not everyone is experiencing the same feelings as them. But how can you help your baby build a healthy understanding of emotions as they grow?
The good news is that one of the most important ways to help your child think about feelings in a healthy way as they grow is incredibly simple to do.
Why taking turns and sharing is much harder than it seems
Do you find it almost impossible to have your turn when playing with your toddler? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone! Learning to take turns and share is not easy and uses social, emotional and cognitive skills your toddler hasn’t mastered just yet.
Things to think about that might help...
The still face experiment and what it tells us about talking to your baby
Your baby's smiles and coos probably give you all the encouragement you need to keep chatting. But it's good to know that these conversations support your baby's development. When you smile and talk to them, they learn how to have a chat and make friends. And even if you can't respond straight away every time, waiting for a moment helps them to develop resilience. The still face experiments tell us more about the importance of these early interactions.
The still face paradigm is an experimental design first developed in the late 1970s to see if babies were active participants in communication. In research using this approach, scientists watch babies during three different interactions with an adult. First, the adult responds as they usually would, then they interrupt the interaction, keeping their face still or neutral, before returning to their usual interaction.
Did you know, elephants might recognise themselves in a mirror?
Your toddler might be realising the reflection in the mirror is them, and this is thought to show that their self-awareness is developing. The experiment that shows this involves putting a dot on a child’s face without them noticing. If they touch their face when they look in the mirror, it is thought that they understand that the reflection is them.
Have you seen the meme about children laughing more than adults? We wanted to find out if it was true, and if so then... why?
There is nothing quite as magical as when your baby first laughs, and laughing together is a wonderful part of family life – we're all for having more laughter in our lives! But we also like to check our facts, so when we see a meme we can’t help but look for the science behind the claims.
Laughter might be on your mind now as your child masters the skill of showing their sense of humour. Have you seen this quote before?
Winning and losing – developing emotional regulation
We all have moments of disappointment in life, it might be missing out on the promotion you were hoping for or seeing your favourite football team relegated. We can cope with disappointment and might have some strategies to help us respond calmly, but that takes practice. So, how might playing games help your child develop these skills?
Coping with disappointment takes lots of practice and uses our executive functions skills (that help us plan, control impulses and stay focused), which take time to develop.
Should my toddler be checking with me before they do something new?
Does your toddler seem to just dive into a new situation without looking back? If you’ve been reading about social referencing, you might be wondering if that’s ok. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you.
What is social referencing?
Understanding and sharing feelings – why empathy is hard for your toddler
Before your toddler can understand how other people feel, they need to understand their own emotions – and know that other people have different thoughts, feelings and ideas. So, what exactly do we mean by empathy and how does this develop? Quick spoiler: it's complicated and takes a long time!
Empathy is more than just knowing how someone feels – it is also understanding their emotions from their point of view.
Growing up together – how your toddler makes friends
We might hope that our child will quickly develop friendships but playing with others can be a bit tricky when you’re a toddler. Toddlers often show that they’re developing empathy but still lack self-regulation skills, which means your child might find it hard to stop themselves hitting out if they are upset, frustrated or angry.[1]
Your toddler’s early friendships are likely to be based around shared interests and play ideas.[2] They might make a friend who enjoys running around as much as they do, or always want to play with the toy animals.
Imaginary friends, soft toys and learning. How does your child’s imaginary play support their development?
Early research took a rather negative view of children who had imaginary friends with suggestions that this could be linked to problems with social skills. In the 1940s book, The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, Dr Benjamin Spock suggested that if a child had an imaginary friend after the age of four, “a child psychiatrist, child psychologist or other mental-health counsellor should be able to find out what they are lacking.”[1] You might be pleased to hear that recent research has shown a rather more positive impact of imaginary friends and you definitely don’t need to worry it’s a sign that your child is ‘lacking’ anything.
We talk about imaginary friends; researchers describe imaginary companions – whatever we call them research has shown benefits of having one (or more!).
