Show me, tell me, let me have a go – what’s the best way for your toddler to learn?
You might think a lot about how your toddler learns new words and be conscious of the things you say to them (you might even have been tempted by flashcards, word books or tech that promises to teach new vocabulary). But how often do you think about how your toddler learns actions – do they learn from being shown, told, practising, or maybe a bit of all of those?
You teach your toddler without even thinking about it
Researchers have found that when adults interact with children, they change their actions as well as how they speak. Adults might slow their actions down or move a bit closer when showing a young child an action than they would when showing an adult.
This seems to help children to copy an action – so when you put on your sunglasses or eat with a knife and fork your toddler is likely to watch and might have a go themselves.[1]
Another way you help your toddler to learn is by drawing their attention to the object they are playing with or looking at and keeping them interested. You might say something about it, or simply pick it up and look closely at it before showing it to your toddler.
Doing things for themselves is a great way to learn
Past studies, which were conducted in laboratory settings, showed that toddlers learn from watching other people do things.[2]
As well as learning from watching other people do things, a recent study showed that in everyday interactions with the adults who look after them, toddlers learned most when they carried out actions themselves, and when they were more active in an activity than the adult
(So, try really hard not to take over and do things for your toddler – unless they’re getting really frustrated!)
This doesn’t mean you need to just sit quietly; your encouragement and some specific instructions can help your toddler to keep trying and seems to also help them to learn how to do something new.[1]
And sometimes you will need them to get ready quickly and need to give them some help – let them do things for themselves when you can, but also don’t feel too bad if sometimes you can’t. Your toddler might be frustrated or disappointed that they can’t keep practising, so maybe acknowledge that and reassure them that they can have a go when you aren’t running late!
Three ways you help when your toddler is learning a new action
Show them
Although this research suggests showing toddlers how to do something doesn’t always teach them something new, other studies have come to different conclusions. Showing them can be a good way to get them started and get them interested – but for your toddler just showing them might not be enough.
Let them do it themselves
This can be really hard, especially if you’re in a hurry, but to really master an action your toddler needs to practise doing – often by doing it over and over again!
Give them specific instructions (at just the right moment), and lots of encouragement
When your toddler is learning something new, telling them what to do as they need to do it can help them master a skill. They might find it hard to listen and do at the same time, so give them simple instructions about what they are doing – without going too far ahead.
Your knowledge of your toddler is really important with this – you are best placed to judge if words of encouragement, a smile of reassurance, simple instructions or just your calm, quiet presence will be best for them at any given moment.
References:
[1] Brezack, N., Radovnovic, M., & Woodward, A.L. (2021). Everyday interactions support toddlers’ learning of conventional actions on artifacts. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 210, Article 105201.
[2] Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. General Learning Press.