Seeing all toys for all children is a game changer

You may have seen your toddler showing a preference for certain types of toy and styles of play. This is an exciting stage for them, as they are becoming more tuned into the world and noticing things around them. However, as we all know, play hasn't always been offered equally to girls and boys, raising the question of whether they are innately drawn towards particular toys and types of play, or are encouraged to choose what's 'set out' for them by society and tradition. 

For centuries, gender-based ideals^[1] for how children should play have been set and met, with a typical play scene depicting girls engaged in role-play looking after a baby, and boys playing with big trucks and cars.  

People often talk about, and seem to accept, that boys play differently to girls and that girls are calmer and enjoy quieter play – but is this really true? 

Although there are various facets to this question, numerous studies are taking a broad view and examining whether or not children play differently because of their sex or whether it is instead due to the options they have available to them and the way the world portrays expectations of boys and girls. 

According to one study,^[2] parents and other adults treat boys and girls differently when they engage in risky play. It was discovered that adults offer girls more attention and support, whereas boys are encouraged to explore new things and do tasks themselves. 

Differences in the way we speak to and play with boys and girls have become normalised in the wider world. 

Even before conception, gender stereotypes are present. We typically see pink for girls and blue for boys all over the place, making it difficult to escape the idea that they are for different kinds of person. 

Differences in sex are often associated with possessions like clothes and toys, and research shows that by the age of three, children have developed basic preconceptions about girls vs boys.^[3]  

Toy companies are well-known to gender the way they market their products,^[4] sending subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) messages about how girls and boys should play and what they should play with. When your toddler sees these advertisements, they might begin to adapt to the social standard of which toys are aimed at them, thereby embedding socially accepted gender identification.^[5] 

With all these gendered systems existing in the world, it makes it challenging to find out whether play really is naturally different for boys and girls. So how does that impact your family’s choices when it comes to toys? 

Toys won't just be toys on a global scale for quite some time, but we can change how we use and play with them. 

Play can be about anything for any child and having access to as many different types of toys available, whether at home or in other places, will give them a better experience all types of play,^[6] and will help support your toddler to embrace their own interests and play styles. 

We're not suggesting you take anything away that your toddler is attached to – they will have formed relationships with their toys, and this is brilliant.  

Consider together whether their toys can be played with in a different way, so perhaps bring the dolls outside to play football or build a café next to the car garage and encourage your toddler to ‘employ’ a variety of male and female staff in their businesses.  

If you have family members who have set ideas about what boys and girls should and shouldn't play with or dress up in, explain that you're happy for your child to choose what interests them and not be told that a particular toy is or isn't appropriate. 

References: 

[1] Chapman, R. (2016) ‘A case study of gendered play in preschools: how early childhood educators’ perceptions of gender influence children’s play’, Early Child Development and Care, vol. 186, no. 8, pp. 1271-1284.  

[2] Morrongiello, B.A., Dawber, T. (1999) Parental Influences on Toddlers' Injury-Risk Behaviors: Are Sons and Daughters Socialized Differently? Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Volume 20, Issue 2. 

[3] Martin, C.L., Ruble, D.N. (2010) Patterns of gender development. Annual Review of Psychology.  

[4] Fawcett Society. (2020) Unlimited Potential. Report of the Commission on Gender Stereotypes in Early Childhood.  

[5] Cerbara L, Ciancimino G, Tintori A. (2022) Are We Still a Sexist Society? Primary Socialisation and Adherence to Gender Roles in Childhood. Int J Environ Res Public Health.  

[6] McCormack, M., Robinson, C., O'Connor, D., O'Rourke, V. (2017) Boys and girls come out come out to play: Gender differences in children's play patterns. The University of Notre Dame Australia.