Playing independently could help your toddler build their self-regulation skills

A recent study has highlighted the value of making sure your toddler has time to play freely, without an adult directing or planning the activity for them. It suggests there might be a link between how much time children spend playing like this before the age of five, and their self-regulation skills as they get older.  

One of the areas scientists, educators and parents are becoming increasingly aware of as important is the ability for people to self-regulate. This means being able to control your response to events and emotions you experience.  

A study published in 2022^[1] supports the widely held theory that free, unstructured play is linked to children’s ability to use self-regulation skills as they grow up.  

In this study, self-regulation was defined as “the ability to plan, control impulses and modulate emotional expression”. The researchers monitored how over 2,200 children played at home over several days, then later analysed the same children’s self-regulation skills two years later.  

They found that the amount of time spent in quiet free play between 2 and 5 years old, and in active free play at 4-5 years, predicted later self-regulation abilities. (The study controlled for known factors which might have impacted the findings, and for earlier self-regulation abilities.) 

Their approach to free play was that it was play led by the child without adult agendas driving it, so it might have been a child playing with toys independently, looking at books or playing running games they have invented.  

The more time young children spend per day in this sort of free play, up to around 5 hours per day (after which there does not seem to be an increasing impact), the higher their self-regulation skills were when measured two years later. 

This is not to say that our children don’t need you to play with them, or lead some activities.  

There are some ways of playing that require more than one person, or which you can bring new ideas and information to your child by suggesting and doing together.  

Reading together, being shown how things work and spending time chatting and sharing games are all important ways of building different skills your child needs as they grow up.  

So although this study can help you to remember to allow time for free play in your day (and reassure you that you don’t need to be involved in your child’s games 24/7!), it should be viewed as a tool to help you and your family find a balance which works for you.  

It’s important to note though, that this study can’t be used to say for certain that doing one thing (more unstructured play time) will definitely lead to something else (better self-regulation skills). It can only offer a guide for making decisions about how families divide their time. 

Some areas of child development are incredibly hard to study, and this means it can be difficult to know for sure what approaches are most effective at supporting children in specific areas of development.  

When studies relating to these interesting areas of development are published they are often not the final answer to a question, but can offer parents a new way to think about choices they (and their children) make.  

Knowing that there may well be a link, and certainly that it does not show a negative connection for young children, might help you decide to actively seek out those times that your toddler can play happily without you.  

And you can make the most of that confidence in your choice, by sitting back or doing something playful yourself while your toddler is busy with their toys.  

References: 

[1] Colliver, Y, Harrison, L.J, Brown, J.E, Humburg, P. (2022) ‘Free play predicts self-regulation years later: Longitudinal evidence from a large Australian sample of toddlers and preschoolers,’ Early Childhood Research Quarterly. 59:148-161.