Playfulness, you and your toddler

Your toddler’s playfulness is growing, but what about your own? We know that toddlers love to invite their most loved ones to play with them, and while you might be tempted to answer something like, “I’ll be with you in a minute,” let’s think about how play benefits you, your toddler and their learning. 

Dr Stuart Brown, a leading researcher on play, says that “We are built to play and built by play.”^[1] 

Play is something that you mightn't feel comes naturally to you as an adult, but if you think back to the games and activities you enjoyed as a child, it might spark a memory that could be fun to explore with your toddler.  

Dr. Brown discovered that humans have in-built preferences for the forms of play that we enjoy.^[1]

Can you remember what used to make you belly laugh or feel totally exhilarated?

We’re not suggesting you spin until you fall over or whizz down a big slide (although if the fancy takes you, go for it!). But think about play in all its forms – sharing jokes, baking, going for a run, playing with a pet, meeting friends... anything that makes you feel happy and helps you unwind.

Then think about ways you can get your toddler to join in with your play – weave your interests into each other's. 

Look at the skills your toddler is working towards – can they be entwined into some of your passions? 

Take the skill of using the motion of jumping to reach for things: you could adapt your interests and hobbies and make them playful. 

You might need to reach something in a high cupboard and decide it is safe enough to jump and reach it; or follow an urge to jump and shake a wet branch to create a rain shower over you both; or when you’re shopping, why not jump up and try and high five a dangling sign? Your toddler will love seeing you do something a bit cheeky or unusual! 

Play releases four feel-good hormones: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin, and these make both you and your toddler feel good.^[2] 

These four hormones collectively help us to bond with others and to feel good and happy. They are released when we do things that make us happy; for your toddler that would include when you play with them, and vice versa. 

Your toddler is finding new ways to play, and they feel safe having you there while they learn. 

A study carried out in 2019 focused on the emotional development of children and found that when parents were playful, their toddlers and children were emotionally more secure.^[3] 

So, with play helping both you and your toddler feel relaxed and emotionally connected, why not find your inner child and take it in turns to aim and throw that clean laundry into the clothes basket?! 

References: 

[1] National Institute of Play. About Dr. Stuart Brown. 

[2] Watson, S, (2021) Feel-good hormones: How they affect your mind, mood and body. Harvard Health. 

[3] Shorer, M., Swissa, O., Levavi, P., Swissa, A. (2021) Parental playfulness and children’s emotional regulation: the mediating role of parents’ emotional regulation and the parent–child relationship: Early Child Development and Care: Vol 191, No 2.