Parent or climbing frame? Why physical play is great and what to do when you need a break

Your toddler loves you, and might have their own way of showing it – so as well as hugs and kisses (great) you might feel your toddler is using you as a climbing frame (fun sometimes... maybe?)!  

Your toddler wanting to climb, bounce and swing on you might not feel like a good thing (and we will get to why it’s ok to say, ‘No,’ sometimes, too) but we think it can be great – at the right moment and in the right way.  

Your toddler’s seeking sensory input (and they love you!) 

Climbing, bouncing, swinging, pushing and pulling all help your toddler to develop their body awareness (proprioception) and balance (vestibular) system.  

These are both important parts of our sensory system as they help us to do many things including, kicking a ball, writing, sitting at a table, walking without falling, dodging obstacles as we walk and run and so much more.   

When your toddler climbs, they receive signals from the receptors in their muscles and joints that help them to understand their body position and the force they’re using. Climbing on a person helps develop their understanding of these signals as you might let them know when they are being too rough – and you’ll probably catch them if they start to fall.  

Bouncing, spinning and being upside down stimulates our balance system; your toddler will use this system, along with what they see and feel, to work out how to keep themselves upright!  

Now, you might think your toddler can develop all of these things at the park, or climbing on the furniture – so why do they climb on you?  

Playing on you is not just about their senses but also about their attachment to you, and their social development.  

Any time spent laughing and having fun with you helps to strengthen your bond – so your toddler will seek out these opportunities. 

Your toddler wants to be close to you, and them climbing on you also gives you the chance to talk to them about when they’re being too rough so they can develop some important social skills.  

What should I do when I need a break? 

So, your toddler wanting to climb, bounce and swing on you is not them showing a lack of respect and can be great for their development – but what should you do when you need a break? 

We know it’s important to teach our children about consent and respect for other people early – and one way to do this is to tell them calmly and clearly when you don’t want them to climb on you.  

At the end of a busy day, if your toddler wants to play on you, it can be hard to keep calm.  

It might help to have a bit of a script in mind for when you want to say, ‘Not now’, you could say something like, “No climbing now.”  

Perhaps then suggest another way to spend some time together, “I would love to look at a book!” or if you know your toddler needs to move, suggest a different physical activity or perhaps playing a climbing game with another adult.  

The other adult might need to seem very excited about having the chance to play – and you might need to move away so your toddler knows that you’re serious about not playing that game now.  

It can help to remember that sometimes children seek sensory stimulation when they feel tired. So, your toddler starting to climb and bounce might not be a sign they’re full of energy but a signal that they need a rest.  

Sometimes, your toddler might be really disappointed that they can’t play, and they might cry or get angry. It is ok both for them to be disappointed and for you to stick to saying you don’t want to play that game now.