Today Tile Triggered Content

We all have moments of disappointment in life, it might be missing out on the promotion you were hoping for or seeing your favourite football team relegated. We can cope with disappointment and might have some strategies to help us respond calmly, but that takes practice. So, how might playing games help your child develop these skills? 

Coping with disappointment takes lots of practice and uses our executive functions skills (that help us plan, control impulses and stay focused), which take time to develop.  

Becoming a parent can be a joyful experience, but it can also be a time when you feel more tearful, anxious or down. It is not unusual to have these feelings, and this may be a time when you need help and support with your mental health. We all do at some point. 

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” American comedian Phyllis Diller 

Say you hate broccoli, but really want your child to eat a wide range of vegetables – you might be telling them how delicious it is, but your face and body language might be saying different. You can't kid a kidder when it comes to liking food! Looking at people around us to understand what we should do is known as 'social referencing', and when it comes to trying food, your child will be watching you closely!'  

In a study of both children and adults, people were more likely to try a food they already ‘dislike’ when they were shown an image of a pleasant face alongside that food – and this was particularly true of the youngest children in the study, aged five years old. 

Does your toddler seem to just dive into a new situation without looking back? If you’ve been reading about social referencing, you might be wondering if that’s ok. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you. 

What is social referencing?

 Did you know… when your baby, toddler or child looks at you just before they leap (or try another new trick) they are using an important developmental skill known as social referencing? 

Social referencing – looking at you to work out what’s ok 

‘Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.’  

Before your toddler can understand how other people feel, they need to understand their own emotions – and know that other people have different thoughts, feelings and ideas. So, what exactly do we mean by empathy and how does this develop? Quick spoiler: it's complicated and takes a long time!  

Empathy is more than just knowing how someone feels – it is also understanding their emotions from their point of view.  

Attachment theory, pioneered by British psychologist John Bowlby, is a well-known approach to understanding children's relationships as well as their reactions to separation and loss, and management of emotions.  

The theory places a strong emphasis on the biological basis of attachment behaviours, such as a child's desire to be close to their caregiver in order to create a ‘secure base’. 

Your child might be getting better and better at understanding their own feelings – but realising that other people think and feel different things is hard (and really important). Most of us want our children to be kind to others and to grow up aware of their own emotions and able to empathise with other people’s – after all, this is an important part of making and strengthening relationships. How then can you help your child see things from someone else’s point of view?  

It is amazing how often the thing that will best support our child’s development is really simple – and understanding how people feel is one of those things! All you need to do is use words that talk about thinking and feeling when you’re chatting with your child.