Making sure your toddler has plenty of time for play can transform a day, and be positive for your relationship with them. But sometimes it can be hard to know exactly what play is, and there are times that what we think of as play might not be quite what it seems.
Play can be difficult to define and it can be easy to accidentally draw our toddlers away from true play and into our own idea of what we think play should look like.
There are so many different types of play: alone with your imagination, using props or dressing up, playing together with a group, being physical and moving, or still and thoughtful, being creative and being plain silly. You might see your toddler enjoying all of these equally, or they might have a preference for one type of play over another.
No type of play is better than another when it comes to your toddler’s development, but no matter the form it takes, true play has a few things mixed in that makes it magical for our children’s development.
The essence of real, meaningful play is that it should be something the child is engaging in for their own enjoyment, and something that enriches their experience.
One recent definition describes an activity as playful if it “includes elements of:
Not all moments of play will contain all these things, and definitely not all at once. Your toddler might not always play with others, for example, but their play could still involve social interactions as they share, or show people what they have been doing, or explore social experiences they’ve seen around them.
When we as adults take over a game or try to steer play in a direction we think our toddler needs, it can stop the flow of their playfulness and take away some of the joy, meaning or motivation they brought to the play in the first place.
Suggesting a game or activity is a brilliant way for us to spark play with our toddlers, but try to let them lead in play as often as possible and follow their train of play to keep it truly magical. If your toddler enjoys playing independently, you might be pleased to know that sitting back and letting them get on with playing alone can be just as powerful, or more so, than you jumping in.
One of the things you can be sure of is that children are naturally experts at playing.
They will seek out things to do which bring them joy, connect them to others and help them create meaning in their world.
This might look different for each child, vary from moment to moment, and won’t always look how you expect play to look, but if it is bringing playfulness into your toddler’s day then it’s doing just what you need it to.
So next time your toddler settles down to an activity, game or adventure that looks random or boring to you, know it will be a way for them to embrace play and enrich their own development in just the way they need right now.
References:
[1] United Nations. (1989). The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Part I, Article 31.
[2] Zosh, J. M., Hirsh-Pasek, K., et al. (2018). ‘Accessing the inaccessible: Redefining play as a spectrum’. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1124 in Schlesinger, M.A., Hassinger-Das, B., et al. (2020) ‘Cognitive Behavioral Science behind the Value of Play: Leveraging Everyday Experiences to Promote Play, Learning, and Positive Interactions’. Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent Psychotherapy, 19:2, 202-216.