Ok today but not tomorrow? Why it’s best to be consistent with your toddler’s behaviour

Sometimes our toddlers do something that maybe they shouldn’t – but is really funny or cute. And our reaction to these moments can lead to behaviour we would prefer wasn’t being repeated over and over again!  

One of the really difficult things our toddlers are learning is that what can be ok and even encouraged in one situation, might be something they can’t do at another time or place.  

What do you think when I do this? Do you think that every time? 

Part of this learning of social rules is repeating things that the people (and especially adults) around them seem to enjoy.  

So, you might notice if your toddler does something and everyone laughs, they do it again and see if they can elicit more laughter!  

Fine at home but not when you're out 

This is often the starting point of some magical moments – the ones you will probably want to add to your scrapbook. But, it can be difficult if there is something that is fine (and quite funny) at home but not ideal when you are out and about.  

You can help your toddler by giving consistent, calm responses to this kind of thing so they begin to understand what they should and shouldn’t do, and there are clear boundaries for their behaviour.  

A few things to try 

Think about what your toddler can understand now and respond based on that understanding

They will be able to think about the appropriate time and place, and change their behaviour in the future, but can’t do that now.  

Try to be consistent (this is hard – you're human too)  

It helps your toddler understand what to do (or not do) if you can be consistent in your responses.  

Be curious 

Try to keep calm and think about your toddler’s point of view. They might have drawn on their face with a felt tip because they have seen face painting or someone putting make-up on, so thought they’d have a go.  

Remember, sometimes your toddler will act before they think  

Inhibition control, which helps us stop ourselves doing something, is an executive function – and takes a long time to develop.