NO, that's not what I meant! How to navigate your toddler's changing understanding of 'no'

When your toddler first started using the word no, the meaning was probably clear: “I don’t want that,” or maybe “I don’t want to do that.” Now they are starting to use 'no’ with another word – and this is where you might need to take a moment to work out what they mean.  

Your toddler might say, “No cup!”  

This could mean, “I don’t want the cup,” or “The cup has gone,” “Where’s the cup,” or even, “I don’t want you/my sibling/friend to have the cup.”  

Your toddler might become frustrated if you don’t understand what they are telling you, but these tips might help. 

Pause to look and listen 

Your toddler might get frustrated if they think they’ve said one thing and you respond as if they said something else, so pause for a moment and think about what they mean.  

Listen to the tone your toddler is using 

Your toddler might change the tone as they say the name of the object or person, giving a hint that they are asking a question, or they might sound sad if someone else has the cup.  

Watch and see where they are looking 

It might help to work out the context of what they are saying if you notice where they are looking, so they might look to where they last saw the cup if they’re telling you it has gone.  

Say what you think they meant 

When you think you’ve worked out what they were saying, say it correctly, “Oh yes the cup has gone.” Or “You don’t want the cup, ok.”