Networks of attachment – why bonding with other special people is great for your baby

As parents, we can feel guilty about our baby’s sense of attachment. Do you need to be with your baby every waking moment? Is it ok for someone else to care for them or will this weaken your bond with them? Attachment is important, but babies can and do form strong bonds with several people, so having others around who care for them can only be a good thing!  

Early attachment research and mothers 

Psychoanalyst John Bowlby is well known for research into the importance of attachment. Like much of the research that has been done into attachment, his research concentrated on the relationship between babies and their mothers.  

Bowlby’s early research led to a view that a baby’s first attachment had to be with their mother. This research led to positive changes, particularly after birth when, rather than being taken off to a nursery, newborns were kept with their mothers.  

Now we know more about early attachment, researchers are recognising that to only focus on mothers (and often only on specific social groups) means there are big gaps in our knowledge of attachment and how it relates to other family members or to varied social and cultural experiences.

As new research emerges, what we know of attachment adapts and changes.

Learning more – the importance of other relationships 

There have been many studies of attachment since Bowlby's first publications in the 1950s, and it is now clear that babies form strong bonds with a network of people.  

The focus on one caregiver has extended, as researchers understand that babies form multiple bonds during their first months.  

What does this mean for you and your baby?  

Your baby will build relationships with people they see regularly and who respond to them; this is likely to be you at first, but will include others.  

You can be reassured that your baby will make close bonds with a few people who are important to them, and that these relationships are positive and will help them to thrive.  

This knowledge about the importance of relationships might also help when you think about who might care for your baby.  

If you are looking for regular childcare, think about how your baby will build a bond with the people looking after them.  

That may be quite simple if a family member or friend is going to look after your baby. If you’re thinking about a nursery or group setting, ask about how they make sure your baby is cared for by the same people regularly.  

You might hear staff in nursery talk about your baby having a key person – this person would be the one who builds a close relationship with you and your baby. You could ask how they plan for when that person isn’t available – they might have a ‘buddy’ system so there are two people who will build that close bond with your baby.