Is your toddler talking about themself in the third person?

The answer is most likely to be yes! Learning to use pronouns is quite tricky. Toddlers learn from the words they hear and so speak in the way they are spoken to. This often means they can get confused when learning to use pronouns. 

What is a pronoun? 

A pronoun is a word used to describe either individuals or groups of people, rather than their names. Examples of pronouns are: I, me, you, she, he, it. 

Pronouns are a hard concept to understand, as they are often used in the opposite way to their meaning 

Your toddler won't always grasp that they need to use the opposite pronoun for themselves.  

So, when your toddler hears you say, "I'm going to pick you up," they could link the word “you” as a word they use for themselves.  

When they want to be carried, you might hear them say something like, “Pick you up,” or “Pick up you.” 

Your toddler listens to language all around them and will be working out what fits best and when 

Toddlers hear other people talk about themselves in the third person and they often copy the same type of language.  

It's likely your toddler will say things like, “Bobby wants ball,” or “Bobby’s,” in response to “Whose is this teddy?”  

If you notice this happening, talk about yourself using pronouns. Replacing, “Mummy is going make lunch,” with “I am going to make lunch,” can be more effective for their understanding. 

You might occasionally hear your toddler refer to themselves as “I” or “my” when talking  

Phrases like, “I do it,” and “My do it,” are very common when learning how to use pronouns. 

There are so many ways to address yourself and others... it can understandably become quite confusing! 

Sometimes it can be easier to miss the pronoun completely! 

There might be times when your toddler decides that no pronoun will be effective enough to get their point across. You might hear them say something like, “Want drink.”  

This could be confused with your toddler being rude or demanding, when really they are learning such a lot of words it can be difficult to find the right one. 

What about gender? 

Toddlers won’t usually associate people with gender for some time. They will hear pronouns such as “she,” “her,” “he” or “him," but it will take time for them to understand when, and if, to use them.  

Over the next few months your toddler might use one pronoun for everyone, so everyone is “him.” 

There'll be lots of inconsistencies in your toddler’s speech as they start to use pronouns because learning how to use them is very confusing, but this is truly a sign of the progress happening behind the scenes in your toddler’s brain.  

Praising their efforts to use pronouns will inspire them to keep on going.