Is it ok if your baby falls asleep as you feed and bond?

When you hold your baby to feed, they are at just the right distance from your face to focus on you. During this special time of bonding, many parents raise the question: is it ok for them to sleep during a feed? Is it true that this is a bad habit? We asked our sleep expert Lauren to tell us more.

Feeding your baby is blissful for bonding, and in the right environment it gives you rare moments to sit and relax. If you are breastfeeding, you'll produce more prolactin, which helps you to feel calm. If you bottle feed, holding your baby as you feed will also provide comfort and calm, as being held close to you reduces the stress responses in your baby’s brain.^[1] But if your baby finds it so relaxing that they fall asleep, is this ok?

When your baby falls asleep on the breast or bottle, Lauren says: 

The first and most important thing to know about settling a child to sleep is that there isn’t a right way to do it; there is only the way that is right for you and your child, at that particular point in time.  

When babies first arrive into the world, they do so with a biological blueprint of how to survive. This typically sees them favouring staying in the arms of those best equipped to keep them safe, with the desire to be held often persisting around the clock for the first few months.  

Almost all newborns will have times of sleep while feeding

Because of the frequency of feeding in their early life, almost all newborns will fall asleep on the breast or bottle, at least some of the time. This is not a “bad habit” or something that needs to be avoided. Indeed, it is particularly hard for a newborn to not fall asleep on the breast, given that breastfeeding helps a baby to feel calm, relaxed and sleepy.^[2]

There is no problem with babies falling asleep in other ways during the newborn period, but it is not something to prioritise or worry about – the focus of this time is to bond with your baby, while achieving as much sleep as you can, in a safe way.

Can you share feeding 'shifts' to catch up your own sleep?

This phase can be incredibly tiring for new parents, especially those without a hands-on support network to call upon. Strategies such as splitting the night into “shifts”, enabling each parent to get a solid block of sleep can help.  

While sleep is likely to be broken in this period, if parents find their baby is persistently struggling to fall asleep and/or is very unsettled when awake, this should be raised with the child’s GP to rule out issues such as digestive discomfort. 

A MFFY tip!

If your baby feeds a lot, some feeds might be a bit quicker, but for the longer feeds, take a moment to catch up on messages or read a couple of articles in the app about your baby's development or ways you can look after yourself. When your baby wakes and you see them looking at you, instead of thinking 'what do I need to do now?', use the time to have a chat with your baby.  

References: 

[1] Gerhardt, S. (2004) Why love matters. How affection shapes a baby’s brain. Hove: Bruner-Routledge.

[2] Uvnas Moberg K (1996) The neuroendocrinology of the mother-child interaction. Trends in Endocrinology and Metabolism, 7 p. 126–131.