You know the feeling: you’ve arrived at the park or at soft play and you know your toddler will have a brilliant time – but they won’t leave your side. The more you try to convince them, the more they don’t want to leave you.
Your natural response might be to push them to be brave, saying things like, “Come on, you’ll have fun,” or “Your friends like it, so will you.”
This desire to encourage your child to join in is natural, you might feel excited or keen for your toddler to try something out. More than that, you know they will love it and be successful at it.
But encouraging them to go and try before they’re ready isn’t always what your toddler needs.
Your toddler is experimenting with making choices. They should be allowed time to choose whether they want to do something or not. If they choose not to, reassure them by saying, “You can try when you’re ready,” or “What do you think will help you get ready?”
Stay with them, letting them lead the way. Embrace watching the action and talking about what’s going on.
Using supportive words that pass the ownership of the decision-making back to your toddler helps them to know that you trust their judgement.
They may suddenly change their minds because they are not feeling pushed into something, or they may return to the decision with a different choice next time.
Empowering your toddler to take charge of their decisions, and allowing them to use their own emotions as a guide, will help give them the tools they need later in life.
There will still be occasions when they need emotional support from you as they grow. Exploring different approaches alongside them can be a supportive way of coaching your toddler towards embracing their independence.