How remembering past events shapes your toddler's actions and behaviours

Remembering things that have happened in the past can change how we act in the future. Our memories can shape our perceptions, influence decision-making, and affect how we interact with others. Your toddler has been forming episodic memories for quite some time now about what they’ve been doing, the people they know and emotions linked to events and experiences. 

Memories can make your toddler feel happy or scared, and they can help them understand the world better. 

Sometimes, memories can make your toddler want to do things again or do things differently. For example, they may remember having a fun time with friends so they want to play with them again, or they might remember hurting themselves, making them not want to do that same thing again. 

Episodic memories can help your toddler learn and grow and they are unique to your toddler. 

Because the episodic memory allows your toddler to remember specific experiences and events in their lives, it helps them to do things like problem-solving, decision-making and planning for the future, as they can draw on their past experiences to guide their actions and behaviour. 

They’ll have formed some types of episodic memory when they were a baby, such as remembering the faces of familiar people or the location of hidden objects. However, the development of episodic memory will continue into adulthood and the ability to recall specific events and experiences will continue to improve with age and cognitive development. 

It is widely thought that two processes happen when the episodic memory is used^[1,2] 

Firstly, to actively change the way they approach things due to a past memory, your toddler needs to be able to remember the past experience, then also remember some details about what happened, including things like how it felt, any sounds or smells and how it looked.^[2]  

They can then start to use information from their memories to help them make decisions about what they are happy or not happy to do. 

Your toddler’s memory is growing, and they will most likely remember experiences that made an impact on them.  

They might get really excited when you say you are going to the park because they remember climbing over a log for the first time, or it might be that they become upset because they remember their welly boot coming off and getting stuck in the mud. 

There is no way of knowing which memory will be recalled by your toddler and when, and sometimes, they might react to something in a way that you weren’t expecting.  

Your toddler has their own way of thinking about and reacting to experiences and events in life and they may remember something that takes you by surprise. 

When your toddler remembers things and you can see that they change their approach, have a little chat about it at a suitable time.  

Talking about their memories and encouraging them to think out loud will help them to reflect upon and adapt their actions, which is a great life skill. 

References: 

[1] Ghetti, S., & Lee, J. (2011). Children's episodic memory. Wiley Interdisciplinary Reviews: Cognitive Science. 2. 365 - 373. 10.1002/wcs.114. 

[2] Episodic Memory. (2023) Psychology Today.