Helping your toddler to develop and learn – not just what you do, but the way you do it

In 2019, psychologists published results from a study looking at parenting styles and toddlers learning words.^[1] While this study focused specifically on word learning, it can help us think about all your toddler’s learning.

Helping your toddler learn involves not only supporting their cognitive development, but also what researchers call ‘affective elements’ – which, put simply, is how your child feels.  

So, when you play with your toddler you support them to think, to be curious, to keep trying when something is hard and to believe that they can do it (‘it’ being whatever skill they are mastering at the time!). 

Scaffolding and following – how you help your toddler to learn 

The word scaffolding might not be the first thing you think of when it comes to your toddler’s learning – but it can be a useful way to consider the support you give them.  

Scaffolding is when you give your child support to do something they can’t do on their own yet  

This could be supporting them to think by making a comment, encouraging them to try something new by asking a question, or offering physical support – such as keeping a piece of paper still so they can focus on using a crayon.  

Following as a way to develop learning is maybe more obvious, but still helpful to understand how the way you interact supports your toddler.   

Parents described as ‘followers’ let their child lead and encourage them with positive feedback.  

In the study, children of followers were more engaged and children of cognitive scaffolders were more likely to learn the words their parents were teaching them.  

Your role when playing with your toddler 

So, when you play with your toddler it might be helpful to think about your role as scaffolding and following – rather than leading and giving instructions or information.  

You don’t need to constantly monitor what you’re doing, simply noticing if you’re taking over a bit and pausing might be helpful.   

What you can do when you play 

• Give just the right amount of support – thinking of scaffolding can be helpful; when you play give just the amount of support your toddler needs to be successful.  
• Relax and follow your toddler’s needs – don’t feel you need to have all the ideas; notice what your toddler is interested in and focus your chat and play on those things.  

And don’t forget to enjoy playing together – this will give your toddler the positive feedback they need to relax and learn.  

Reference: 

[1] Wei, R., Ronfard, S., Leyva, D., & Rowe, M.L. (2019). Teaching a novel word: Parenting styles and toddlers’ word learning. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 187, Article: 104639.