“Have you finished?” Why you should listen when your baby refuses food

When your baby turns their head away as you bring another spoonful of food towards them, it can be so tempting to begin a whole range of strategies to try to get them to eat more, from aeroplanes to pleas of “Just one more bite!” But refusing food is a signal that your baby is developing important skills – including awareness of themselves and autonomy.  

Developing autonomy is one of three innate psychological needs identified by scientists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci.^[1] Being able to have control and make choices is an important part of your baby’s development and wellbeing. 

Your baby is listening to their body

Listening to the choices they make can feel challenging at times but making choices, particularly about how much food they eat, is important. When they refuse food, your baby is learning to respond to their body and feelings of being full. When you respond to their refusals, you are supporting them to listen to signals from their body about when they have had enough.  

A few tips for mealtimes and snacks 

• Follow guidance linked to weaning. Depending on your baby’s age they might not need three solid meals a day and snacks. 
• Try to offer balanced meals and snacks. Aim for three meals and two to three snacks each day from when your baby is one.  
• Your baby’s responsibility is to decide how much they eat.  
• Have a mealtime limit of 30 minutes and a snack time limit of 20 minutes, after that, or when your baby refuses food, take the food away. 
• Eat together and let your baby see you eating the foods they eat. If you don’t like certain foods, try not to show this when with your baby.^[2] 

If you are concerned about what your child eats, speak to a health professional. 

You can also listen to our podcast with Children's Dietitian, Lucy Upton

In this episode, Lucy chats to Alistair and Jennie about meals, snacks and how to avoid meltdowns when it comes to food. Just click on the link above or search for My First Five Years wherever you listen to your podcasts.

References:

[1] Ryan, R.M. & Deci, E.L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55 (1) 68-78. 

[2] Bradford Nutrition and Dietetics Service (2013). Every baby matters: Guidelines for good nutrition in Bradford and Airedale. Nutrition and 1-5 year olds.