Have you been talking to yourself lately? If not, you might want to start
Have you found yourself thinking in your own mind, or you go to do something, and a voice inside your head stops you? This is your inner voice. If you hear it, you are not alone. Your inner voice is your own monologue – it is you thinking silently without sharing the thought... it's a useful tool and one that needs looking after.
The inner voice and how we use it
Your inner voice is internal chatter. It is your brain allowing you to hear yourself talk in your head,[1] and this voice is usually a representation of your own.[2]
Most of us have an inner voice. This is what chats to you when you make decisions, when you play out a conversation in your head, and when you try to solve a problem... to name but a few scenarios.
When you read a book, your mind might wander and you might have to tell yourself to focus on reading – this is your spontaneous voice.[3] Your inner voice can also be driven by a stimulus.[3]
It's remarkable just how much you will already have relied on your inner voice in daily life. You might pay more attention to it now that you are conscious of it. Your inner voice reflects you and your thoughts; if you tell yourself that you can’t use a drill, or you can’t sew, you will believe it and your inner voice will agree with you.
When it comes to being a parent, your inner voice can become very talkative indeed!
Here are some ways to interact with it on those days when self-doubt or worry creep into your thoughts.
Be more positive
When your inner voice tells you that something is not possible, challenge it. Think about how something can be possible. So, when you've had little sleep, focus on what is possible that day, rather than what you won't be able to get done. It will benefit you in so many ways.
Talk kindly
When you think about scary things, your inner voice gets scared and embeds your feelings. Yet when you reassure yourself and be kind and understanding to yourself, your inner voice has a positive impact on you. Worry is a natural part of being a parent, so giving yourself some time for calm and reassuring reflection is really important.
Listen to yourself
If you make a mistake, or get something wrong, don’t let your inner voice repeat what happened over and over again. Tell yourself how you can learn from it and that it’s ok to make mistakes.
Remind yourself that you have a gorgeous baby who loves you, even when you're not in the cheeriest of moods.
Think of your inner voice as your best friend
Try to talk to it in a way you would like your best friend to talk to you. And when your inner voice says, 'Wow! We accomplished this today," listen to it and feel proud.
If you're finding your inner voice is constantly negative or you struggle to find positives day after day, talk to a friend or relative, or have a chat with your GP or another professional you trust.
References:
[1] N. Chandler. (2021) Do You Have an Inner Voice? Not Everyone Does. How Stuff Works. Reviewed on April 23, 2021. Accessed on August 30, 2022. Available online at: Do You Have an Inner Voice? Not Everyone Does | HowStuffWorks
[2] B. Gick, J.F. Werker, E. Vatikiotis-Bateson. (2013) Inner Speech Speaks Volumes About the Brain. Association of Psychological Science. Written July 16, 2013. Access on August 30, 2022. Available online at: Inner Speech Speaks Volumes About the Brain – Association for Psychological Science – APS
[3] S. Geva, E.A Warburton. (2019). A Test Battery for Inner Speech Functions, Archives of Clinical Neuropsychology, Volume 34, Issue 1, February 2019, Pages 97-113. Available online at https://doi.org/10.1093/arclin/acy018