The classic view of emotion
This is perhaps the way of understanding emotions that most of us are used to, and that feels intuitively right.
In the classic view, all human beings are born with a set of emotions, and both the responses and experiences that trigger these emotions are the same for everyone.
This leads to ideas like ‘amygdala hijack’, with the amygdala said to be the ‘fear centre’, and when we’re scared, we can’t access the rational part of our brain. The problem with this understanding is that the amygdala is not always active when people are scared, and areas of our brains work together so there isn’t one part of the brain that deals with fear, sadness, happiness, and so on.[1]
Others believe we’re not born with a shared set of human emotions
Some scientists argue that the experience of emotion is not universal – but rather that emotions are understood and demonstrated in different ways according to cultural background and experiences.[2]
Social psychologist Batja Mesquita describes emotions as happening between people rather than within an individual.[2]
The theory of constructed emotions
This theory asserts that our emotions are constructed based on previous experience - it sees the brain as constantly active and making predictions based on things that have happened to or around us before.
So, the funny feeling in our stomach might be interpreted in different ways – if we’re about to go to a job interview this might be nerves; if it’s nearly lunchtime it could be hunger; if we’re off on holiday tomorrow, excitement; or if someone has just pulled out in front of us it could be anger (or fear again).
And a different person might link different emotions to the same sensation and situation – some people might be excited about a job interview!
And just to make things a bit more complicated – even if we say we’re experiencing the same emotion, there isn’t (despite what stories tell us!) a universal set of facial expressions or cues shared by everyone that show an emotion.
Although it is likely we will have some shared ideas about what anger, sadness, excitement and other feelings look like when we are with people who’ve had a similar upbringing and experiences.[1]
What does all this mean for you and your toddler?
Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett thinks that language is the key to how our children learn about emotions.[1]
While young babies know what they enjoy and what they don’t, the adult-like understanding of a range of emotions takes time to develop – and might not be something your toddler really understands.
What toddlers do really well is notice patterns, and they also link what people do with a goal – so they become aware that their friend hits them because they want the toy they’re holding. When this action is accompanied by words, like, “No hitting, are you angry?” your toddler begins to link actions, goals and language.
When they hear the same word in different situations and accompanied by different actions or goals, their understanding of ‘angry’ (or whichever word) expands.
They might begin to link this word with their own feelings and actions, so when you comment and say, “Are you feeling angry because you wanted the toy?” they link their racing heart and fuzzy stomach with ‘angry’.
In another situation, the same sensations might be grouped differently, so when you’re going to their favourite park maybe those feelings are ‘excited’.
As your toddler grows, their concepts of emotions will broaden, informed not only by the words used, but by their experiences, so they begin to recognise actions, facial expressions or tone of voice as linked with a particular emotion.
The good news for you as a parent is that both the classic and constructed view of emotions lead to quite similar ideas about what support your toddler needs.
In both cases, your toddler has a physical sensation, that is interpreted according to the situation, and that leads to actions.[3]
Your toddler needs your support to make sense of the world around them, including physical and emotional responses. They will watch you and others around them to see how people respond in different situations.
So, as well as supporting them when they are feeling overwhelmed, think about how they see emotions expressed by the people around them. Responding calmly to the driver who pulls out in front of you (if you can) might help your toddler to learn about how frustration can be expressed without shouting.
However we understand emotions, when your toddler experiences something they find frustrating, upsetting or annoying, they need your support to feel calm again.
References:
[1] Pogosyan, M. (30 March 2018). How culture shapes emotions? Do people around the world experience emotions similarly? Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/between-cultures/201803/how-culture-shapes-emotions
[2] Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain.
[3] Simon-Thomas, E.R. (30 June, 2017). Are emotions born or made? Greater Good Magazine. Available at: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_emotions_born_or_made