Don’t help me – what your baby can learn from doing things for themselves

Learning to do things for themselves is an important part of growing up – but when your baby doesn’t want your help, even when they are frustrated, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a good thing!  

Developing a sense of self and independence 

As your baby grows, they will begin to develop their sense of themselves, and part of this will be realising that they can do things for themselves.  

Long-term gain – short-term pain! 

Long term, this is great, because as parents we are working towards putting ourselves out of a job by helping our children move towards independence. 

Mastering the skills to do things for themselves takes a long time, and a lot of practice doing things badly or slowly at first.  

When your baby has first decided that they can put on their own shoes without help, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a good thing, especially when you need to be out of the house in a hurry! Try to remember that long term it will be a huge help when they can do their own shoes, and let them try as often as is practical.   

Take a step back when you can 

If you have time, let your baby have a go at doing things for themselves. They will learn to do lots of things simply by practising.  

If you stay close by, you can offer reassurance, or perhaps help if they become frustrated.  

You could do one step of the process and then step back, so your baby can have the satisfaction of doing some of it for themselves.