Cooperation and becoming competitive in games often develop together

If you’ve tried playing a board game with your child, you’ll know that  understanding games with rules can be tricky. Your child might develop these skills through making up their own rules as they play with other children – or suggesting some simple rules in games they play with you. 

Playing games with rules involves social and cognitive skills as your child needs to think about (and explain) the rules, remember them as they play and agree the rules with other people. Then they have to understand that in some games there is a winner and a loser – and sometimes they might lose (which is something even adults find hard to cope with at times!). 

At first, when you play games with rules, your child might think everyone has won.  

They have the skills to play the game but not the understanding of the purpose of the game, or other people’s goals. They aren’t cheating, they just haven’t quite understood the purpose of games with a winner and loser.  

Part of learning about this is understanding that in certain games someone wins, but also it is linked to their social skills – and the same skills that help your child be more cooperative also support them to be more competitive.  

Your child will develop the skills to think about other people's ideas and intentions or goals – and know that sometimes other people have different ideas from them.  

This helps them to be more cooperative and might also lead to them being more competitive in games with rules. They now understand that there is a winner!  

Reference: 

Devries, R. (2012). Games with rules. In Fromberg, D.P & Begen, D. (Eds) Play from Birth to Twelve Contexts, Perspectives, and Meanings (2nd Edn.). Taylor and Francis.