Copy cat pressure – your baby will be watching what you do, so what happens when you have a bad day?

Your baby learns by watching and copying what you do. You might see them starting to bring these actions or activities into their own games now. But why do they mimic adults and what does this mean for you when you act in a way you’re not too proud of?  

Your baby might pretend to make you dinner and you notice they shake a pan just like you do, or they might sing like you as they do some tidying up (or at least pretend tidying up – which is not guaranteed to end up with any actual tidying being done, of course). 

Social learning theory – we are always learning from each other, especially those we love.  

Psychologist Albert Bandura identified this as part of his social learning theory – he noted that people learn how to behave by watching each other and copying or imitating the behaviour of the people they most want to be like. 

Why ‘do as I say, not as I do’ will never work.  

Although your baby will learn from what you say and what you teach them, as someone they spend so much of their time with, most of their learning comes from watching what you do.  

This is why showing your baby the behaviour you want to see from them is more effective than simply describing it. Psychologists and educators often call this modelling, where an adult acts in the way they want the child to learn.  

This can feel like a lot of pressure, so remember that behaving perfectly all the time, to model good behaviour for your baby, isn’t realistic.  

Now your baby is bringing more of what they see around them into their play you will want to take care over what you and the people around them are saying or doing. If your baby starts to act out behaviour you really don’t want to see, make sure you and everyone around you knows to avoid behaving that way with your baby close by.  

Sometimes you’ll act or react in ways that you wouldn’t want your baby to copy. Parents are humans. If you do shout, or do something silly you don’t want your baby to copy, take a breath or a break to regroup. 

You can talk to them about how you feel, and show them you’re sorry with a hug if you need to. All we can do as parents is try to model behaviour we'd want to see from our children as much as we can. 

While your baby is learning by watching you, they're also learning how to cope with mistakes and apologies. When you show them this by being open about your mistakes they are gaining just as much as in all the brilliant moments that go exactly as you'd hope.