Can we fix it? Helping your toddler understand that sometimes we can’t

Sometimes it’s hard to understand the world from your toddler’s point of view, but a bit of knowledge about child development can help to make sense of what they do! 

Does your toddler seem shocked when the flower they took off a plant can’t simply be placed back on? They might be devastated when they can’t put a bit of a broken toy in position and see it magically fixed.  

One of the ways we all learn about the world is through cause and effect, and one thing your toddler has learnt is that somethings can be changed – then changed back again.  

They have noticed that sometimes something breaks then it can be easily fixed – for example, knocking down a tower of blocks, then building it again.  

What they haven’t learnt yet is that some things can be fixed easily, but others can’t! 

Our brains are constantly making predictions, based on information from our senses and our previous experience.  

As adults, lots of the causal relationships (when one thing causes another to happen) that help our brains predict will be formed without us even thinking about it. But it can help children to be more aware of these links, making a conscious decision about how to act helps children to develop accurate predictions – which help them learn.^[1] 

What can you do to help your toddler understand causality? 

Give them time to watch and explore a variety of objects, places and experiences 

Your toddler will build their understanding through experience. Giving them plenty of time to play with objects, and a mixture of repetition and new experiences, will help.  

Comment on what’s happening – especially making connections about how one thing caused another 

Your comments help your toddler notice and think about causality – as they understand more, you could also ask questions that encourage them to make these connections themselves. 

Answer their questions 

Your toddler might be asking quite simple questions now, but as they master language and cognitive skills they will ask more and more. Answering these questions will give your toddler the bits of knowledge they need to understand more about the world around them.  

Be patient 

As your toddler is developing their understanding of what can, and can’t, be reversed they might become upset or frustrated at times. From their point of view, they wonder why you can’t just put the flower back, like you do when a block falls off their tower.  

Support your toddler with their emotions, and when they’re calm explain simply that there are lots of things we can fix, but not everything.  

Reference:  

[1] Goswami, U. (2020) Cognitive Development and Cognitive Neuroscience. The Learning Brain. London: Routledge.