There is no way to completely remove the risk of losing your toddler when you’re out and about, but there are plenty of things you can do to prepare them, and yourself, for the possibility.
Although nobody wants to think about this heart-stopping situation, it is better to have prepared for it.
This preparation will depend on your toddler of course, and some of these tips might not be fully useful until they are talking more. No matter what level of communication they’re using, there are things to think about ahead of time which will mean both you and your toddler feel more confident to handle the scary situation if it happens.
Make sure they have your contact details on them.
Write your phone number on clothes labels or socks, pop a note with your details on into a pocket or even make a wristband with your number on it if you’re going somewhere you know will be busy.
Teach them your full name.
This is so that if your toddler can talk, they can ask people to look for you or call out your real name (not ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’). This will help other adults find you more quickly and will be an easier sound for you to pick out in a crowd.
Talk about what to do if your toddler ever becomes lost.
You can do this now using simple role-play games, using puppets or as a story (although avoid making it a bedtime story in case it brings up worries that stop them sleeping).
Teach them to call you as loudly as they can.
If your toddler realises they’re lost, teach them to start by taking a deep breath to help calm themselves, and then call out for you as loudly as they can. The chances are you’re still close by and will find them very quickly.
Explain who your toddler should ask for help if they are lost.
This should ideally be people wearing uniforms – police officers, security guards or employees at your location. You can also encourage your toddler to approach a person with children, as they are likely to want to help reunite a lost child.
When your toddler can speak confidently, they should learn to say “I’m (name), I’m lost”, as well as giving your name and details.
Of course, there is never any way to absolutely identify a safe person in a crowd of strangers, but by approaching these people and making themselves known by being very loudly lost your child will have plenty of adult eyes on them in a short space of time.
If you're heading somewhere you know there are likely to be crowds, as well as making sure everyone in your group is aware of the safety plans you have in place you can do a few things to help make sure you both feel confident.
Dress your toddler in bright colours or a distinctive outfit so they stand out in a crowd.
Take some family photos before you head out, in most cases they will be a record of a fun day out. It also means you will have an up-to-date photo to share with people helping you look for your toddler if they do become separated from you.
Take a moment to go over your plan when you arrive.
Point out the employees to your toddler and talk about the uniform so they are recognisable later on.
The moment you realise you have lost sight of your toddler is an awful one, even if it only lasts a second. If this happens, remember your plans and some simple rules of thumb...
Be as loud as you can while looking for them.
Call out their description and ask other adults (especially employees of the location) to help you look.
Be very clear when you describe your child. Other adults will be able to find your child faster if they know what they are looking for rather than only having a name. For example, you might say, “I have lost my son. He is three, has brown hair and is wearing a yellow and green striped top.”
Our instinct might be to search frantically but quietly until we find our child to avoid a fuss, but the more people who know when someone needs help, the better.
Inform an employee or security person as soon as possible.
Most busy family attractions will have a plan for helping to find a lost child, which can be put into place quickly when they know it’s needed.
Often children will be close to the last place you saw them. If you have enough adults with you, make sure one stays where you were last together in case your toddler finds their way back. If you can’t, ask employees for help to make sure someone is there to look out for your toddler.
In most cases, you will be reunited with your toddler quickly, and will need plenty of hugs all round to help you all recover from the huge spike of fear the moment caused.
If you’re worried it’s taking too long to find your child, work with the employees of the attraction or place you’re at and call the police for support. You will know you are as prepared as a parent could ever be with a safety plan, contact details and photos ready to share.