Today Tile Triggered Content

When a baby tears a sheet of paper, the tiny muscles in their hands gain strength and endurance. They're also having to use both hands at the same time to complete an action – a skill called bilateral coordination. Although you will need to set boundaries around exactly what bits of paper your baby is tearing up, there are many reasons that the actions themselves should be encouraged with a pile of scrap paper.  

Your baby's bilateral coordination and their fine motor muscles are still developing. These skills will eventually help when doing tricky tasks like fastening a zip, putting on their own shoes and cutting with scissors. These and many more life skills require the hands to work in unison, while doing separate actions, and for your baby playing is a perfect way to practise.  

Your child might be starting to talk more about the things that they remember and be making connections between different experiences. This is something we do all the time as adults, but did you know your approach to talking about and remembering events – what we call reminiscing – will help your child to build their own memories and social understanding? 

Talking to your child is second nature, from chatting about your plans for the day to explaining an exciting new thing they’ve spotted and answering those endless questions about the world.  

You might have heard of ‘infant-directed speech’, which is the simpler speech that adults use when talking to babies. But scientists also suggest that adults simplify their actions when they interact with babies. 

Your baby’s hand-eye coordination is improving and they are now able to see what they want and direct their hands to it. Their muscles are strengthening and they're starting to coordinate movements in their hands, which enables them to grab and hold onto larger objects.  

Toddlers possess an incredible drive for independence, which can be hard for us as parents – you'll have heard people talk about 'the terrible twos'. But toddlers are terrific in their determination to learn so much every day and keep on developing. Of course, it will involve big emotions along the way! 

Sometimes your toddler might be overwhelmed with emotion about things as simple as which plate they eat from. This is not as irrational as it may seem; there are several reasons why this phase of development can bring about strong emotions.  

You might have heard of co-regulation – where someone helps us to regulate our emotions, often when things feel overwhelming. For an adult it could be a hug or chatting to a friend. When emotions bubble over for your toddler, they need your help to regulate them. You’re already a pro at doing this, but here are more pointers for restoring calm.   

How you can help your toddler when it all gets ‘too much’ 

We're not going to pretend that leaving your baby with someone else is easy – whether it's the first time you are trying it or you're getting used to being separated as part of your routine. But these five crucial tips should go some way to making it more bearable and, in time, positive and affirming for both of you.

1. Have a goodbye routine. Do the same thing each time you leave your baby so they begin to know what will happen. It might be a kiss and a cuddle, then they wave goodbye with whoever is looking after them.  
2. Never sneak away. Your baby might seem happy that time, but they might start to worry that you might leave at any time which might make their separation anxiety worse. 
3. Give them a comfort item. Leave your baby with something that they might find comforting, perhaps some clothing or yours or their favourite toy. 
4. Keep smiling. Easier said than done, we know. Try to be, or appear to be, happy and confident as you leave so they know that they will be ok: they will be more concerned if you seem anxious or upset. Remember that separation anxiety shows that your baby has a good bond with you, which will support them to form good bonds with the other people who look after them.  

Your toddler is learning so much about themselves now and starting to want to be more independent and make choices. This is a brilliant time for their development but can be a challenging time for you – and with a busy life it can be easy to forget about looking after your wellbeing. Stop for a moment today and think about how you take care of yourself as well as your toddler.  

Romesh Angunawela, a consultant eye surgeon at Moorfields Eye Hospital, has worked with Clinic Compare to create a GIF showing the development of a baby's eyesight for each month of their first year.

We know toddlers can get overwhelmed at times, we all can when you think about it, but your toddler probably finds it more difficult than you do to calm again – and this could be explained by their brain development.  

What are executive functions and why are they important in emotions?