May be friendly towards strangers, but more cautious if they come close to them

Your baby’s curiosity is growing and manifesting itself in a wider range of ways.  Their fascination for people and interaction is continuing to grow and evolve. 

You may notice that your baby is beginning to prefer being with familiar people. They may still be friendly with strangers but occasionally show some shyness or even slight anxiety when approached too closely or abruptly, especially if you are out of sight. You may notice this reservation with strangers growing gradually stronger. This might take the form of going very quiet, stopping smiling, turning away or other expressive behaviours and signals. Your baby may turn to you if you are close by, to check for reassurance that you are still there and that they are safe. [1].  

These observations indicate that your baby already has a sense of belonging and selective attachment to their familiar group of frequent caregivers, such as you, your immediate family and others who they see often.  

Research notes that stranger wariness is part of typical development, due to the existing formation of these strong selective attachments.  The notion of wariness of strangers has been explored alongside variables such as, the proximity of the mother, the proximity of the stranger, the style of approach and even the speed of approach.  Wariness identified has been characterised as more subtle than distress, but behaviours such as gaze aversion, frowns or fixed looks and becoming quiet. [2] 

It is suggested that when you encounter this wariness with your baby reacting calmly yourself and comforting your baby allows them to pick up on your cues and sense your confidence. You are the safe base which gives them the confidence to explore more widely. 

Attachment Theory 

Attachment theory is a well known way of understanding children’s reactions to separation/loss and the management of emotions and relationships.  The theory emphasises the biological basis of attachment behaviours, that is, the seeking out of proximity by a child to their carer in order to provide a ‘secure base’.  This strong motivation to maintain proximity to the attachment figure is considered universal to human infants, as well as many primate young and many other infant species, eg. the calls between sheep and lambs, dogs and puppies etc. 

It is recognised that a secure initial attachment underpins any future relationships.  As the significant person forges a primary link with a baby and child, they will gently introduce them to the wider world, and encourage the child to branch out, meet new people and trust others, whilst all the time creating a safe place to which they can return. 

Research indicates that where children start their lives having secure attachments or strong bonds with significant caregivers this bond provides a form of protection, not only for the early years but for their future lives and is a basic requirement for children to go on to establish wider social attachments as they grow up.  [3] 

What next? 

Attachment behaviour will continue to as your child grows older. You can support your child in extending their relationships by holding your child’s hand when they meet new people, or allowing them to sit on your lap or perhaps meeting new people in your own home where your child feels most comfortable 

Secure attachment plays a significant role not only through the earliest months and years, but throughout life.  

“Intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person's life revolves, not only when he is an infant or a toddler or a school child but through his adolescence and his years if maturity into old age.”  John Bowlby (1969) [4] 

References 

[1] Sheridan, M, Sharma, A, and Cockerill, H. (2014). From birth to five years. Children’s developmental progress. (Fourth edition) Abingdon: Routledge 

[2] Robinson, M. (2008) Child development from birth to eight. A journey through the early years.  Open University Press. 

[3] Dowling, M. (2010) Young children’s personal, social and emotional development. (Third Edition) Sage Publications Ltd: London 

4 Bowlby, J. (1969)  Attachment and loss. New York: Basic Books