Tickling is something you’ve likely not given that much thought to before. But there is a lot of neuroscientific research that explains the tickling phenomena and there are lots of questions to be answered about tickling.
For example.
This further reading piece will explain a little bit more about what is happening when we tickle our children and in turn why they tickle others.
What is quite interesting is that all of the above questions have a similar explanation and it is all to do with our proprioceptive sense (which is an awareness of our bodies) and our cerebellum (which is the part of our brain that is responsible for movements and cognitive processing). Whilst this part of our brain is developing, it is unable to process that the feeling is our body and not just a vibration from the external world [1] therefore a baby might move when tickled, but they will not find it entertaining. As they grow, they begin to associate the sensation of movement with communication and interaction from you and this is often why they laugh. They might not in fact enjoy the sensation, but the anticipation created in the cerebellum, the interaction with someone they love and emotional connection they sense during the exchange is why they demonstrate enjoyment[2]. The cerebellum also anticipates our own movements and therefore we cannot feel the same level of sensation from our own touch [3].
They then begin to learn that they too can generate a response from others by tickling them, so seek to communicate in a serve and return style by ticking them too [4]. At first, they will not have developed their proprioceptive sense (body awareness) needed to be soft and gentle with their movements, so might be quite rough. Through practise and through feeling soft and gentle movements themselves, they will begin to be able to generate a softer output with their motor movements.
Therefore, these attempts to tickle you are purely a way to seek interaction and in some way communicate with you. It may even be a way to explore the dominance within your relationship [5]. However, lovingly responding to them during these exchanges will in turn support the development of their language skills and help them to understand feelings and emotions. It is also a way of developing and exploring the boundaries of your relationship in a way that is comfortable for them and therefore they might be quite boisterous with you in order to understand your response. Be honest if their actions are hurting you and play games with them that show them how to use their hands more gently whilst they have not yet developed the understanding of their motor output. It is also very important to be mindful of their response and if they appear to not be enjoying it or have asked you to stop, then respecting their wishes in the moment.
As your child moves more they will develop greater awareness of their body and become more able to control the force that they use when playing. Games such as tickling or ‘rough and tumble’ can help them to practise and develop this awareness of force and help them to control their movements.
References
[1]. Begum Ali,J., Spence,C., and Bremner, A. (2015) Human infants’ ability to perceive touch in external space develops postnatally. Current Biology. 25 (20) pp.978-979.
[2]. Harris, C. (1999). The mystery of ticklish laughter. American Scientist 87 (4) pp.344-348.
[3]. Agyei, S., Van der Weel, F and Van der Meer, A. (2006) Development of Visual Motion Perception for Prospective Control: Brain and Behavioural Studies in Infants. Frontiers in Psychology. 7 (100) pp.1-14.
[4]. Black, D. W. 1984. Laughter. Journal of the American Medical Association. 252 (21) pp.2995–2998.
[5]. Alexander, R. (1974) The evolution of social behaviour. Annual Review of Ecology and Systematics. 5 (20) pp.325-383.
[6]. Konomi, I. and Koichi, N. (2017). Development of mother-infant interaction in tickling play: The relationship between infants' ticklishness and social behaviors. Infant behavior & development. 49 (10) pp.161-167.