Who’s behind the camera? The TikTok trend that’s making parents think about their photos

A TikTok trend is reminding parents to think about who’s behind the camera in your photos and videos. When your child looks back in the future, will they see all the people that are important in their lives – or is it always the same person who remembers to take the photo? 

The #mumwastheretoo trend features images and videos of babies and children enjoying holidays, days out, games and stories with their dads, accompanied by Paloma Faith’s song ‘Only Love Can Hurt Like This,’ and the caption “Mum was there too but behind the camera”.  

Family photographs in years gone by 

Writer Lauren Collins looked at images of mothers and found the absence of mothers in photographs is not a modern phenomenon. Victorian mothers were covered in sheets to avoid being included in photographs of their children. She also looked at her own photographs and realised that she featured in the staged images, holding a birthday cake, or standing by the Christmas tree, rather than in the images that gave a glimpse of everyday life.[1] 

Look through your photos today – who is in the picture? 

Why not look through the photos on your camera roll and in your scrapbook and think who’s behind the camera? Does it seem that only one parent goes on holiday, enjoys days out or plays with your child? If you are always the one taking the photos chat with your partner, family and friends, ask them to remember to capture some everyday moments too.  

You could also prop your phone up securely, and set it recording – even playing or dancing together in your living room will make a lovely memory to look back on and share with your child. Don't worry if the room isn't tidy, your interaction together is the most important thing. 

Letting go of perfection 

If you know you avoid being in photos or delete the images before anyone else sees them, think about why this might be. Do you feel pressure to look perfect in every photo – so would you refuse a photo if you don’t feel your outfit is quite right or if you didn’t have time to do your hair?  

Remember your photos can just be for you and your family, they don’t need to be shared anywhere you don’t want them to be. Your photos can capture all the moments of family life, including the reality that life with young children is busy – and picking the perfect outfit or doing your hair might not always be your priority.  

Looking back 

In the future, these photos will show your child the love that surrounded them from birth, and they will remind you of the things that perhaps now you take for granted or that you might forget as time passes. You might look back in the future and remember the story that was an absolute favourite for a week or two, the games you played together, or a long-forgotten favourite toy.  

Read more 

[1] Collins, L. (2022) The hidden mothers of family photos. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-hidden-mothers-of-family-photos