Summer self-care for parents – tips and ideas

You might have heard the phrase ‘two things can be true’ used when talking about the mixed feelings we have in some situations. Parenting often brings with it a mixture of emotions. During the summer, you might find you enjoy a slower pace or having a bit more time with your child, but also miss some of the things you would usually do. You might be thinking about how to organise childcare, or feel pressure to entertain your child at all times!   

Sometimes, these mixed emotions can make us feel guilty. You might wonder, “Am I still a good mum/dad if I don’t love every moment with my child?” If a friend asked you this question you would say “yes”, so say that to yourself. “I am a good mum/dad, and I am human and need some time for myself.”  

We have some ideas for you to think about to help you focus on self-care during summer when this mixture of emotions might come to the surface.  

Self-care often involves a bit of reflection, and it will look different for all of us as we are all individuals. So, a starting point might be simply pausing and thinking about times when you feel happy, relaxed and calm or times when you feel on edge and unregulated. Thinking about your good days and your bad days will help you notice the things that are important to you and for you – making time for these things is self-care for you.  

Think about you.

It can feel as a parent that there is no time to think about yourself. It is not selfish to make sure you have time to relax and unwind – it is an essential part of looking after your family and showing your children how to look after themselves.  

You could start by simply making sure you have time each day to sit quietly. 

Check how you are talking to yourself.

Do you immediately blame yourself If something doesn’t go to plan? Pause and ask what you would say to a friend in the same situation – then say that to yourself.  

Get organised

Feeling in control of the things that need to be done can help. Find a system that works for you and be realistic about what you can fit into a day. Include your rest on your to-do list and if the list is too long prioritise, and leave some things for now.  

Ask for help if you need it

This might be help from friends or family or as your child grows and develops it might be involving them in some age-appropriate tasks. Helping you with everyday tasks can provide brilliant opportunities for learning, and young children often enjoy having some responsibility.  

Looking after your physical health is an important part of self-care, and can impact on your mental health and wellbeing.

Think about what you eat, and don’t skip meals on a busy day. Make time for exercise that you enjoy. This does not need to be a run or the gym, it could be a daily walk pushing the pram, a kitchen disco, or yoga.  

Sleep is important for you and your child and having a sleep routine for yourself and your children is an important part of self-care.

Night waking is really common among babies and young children, and if you have had a broken night’s sleep, try to find some time to relax during the day.  

You might find your child finds it harder to sleep when it is light at night or when it is hot, so don’t worry if summer seems to bring with it a few more broken nights. And be kind to yourself if the day after a disturbed night’s sleep feels tricky.  

Keep in touch with your friends and family

You might find you have a mixture of ‘parent friends’ and friends from before you had children. These different relationships might feel important to you as you have friends who know you well and friends who share some similar experiences as you adjust to being a parent.  If you can’t meet very often, keep in touch in other ways, perhaps through messages or a regular video call.  

Say ‘no’ when you want to

Don’t feel you always have to say ‘yes’ to helping others or to invitations. Think about everything you are fitting in and remind yourself it is ok to prioritise you and your family – especially when life is busy. This might sometimes involve saying ‘yes’ to an invitation you know will help you to relax, but this also might involve saying ‘no’.  

Pause and think about how using social media makes you feel.

We can be in touch with the wider world constantly with social media and messages.  

Follow accounts that make you feel confident and positive, and remove ones that make you feel bad. Is social media adding to the pressure you feel as you see people posting pictures of elaborate summer activities or (apparently) idyllic holidays? 

If you find you feel less positive after using social media, take a break for a while or limit the time you spend on your phone. Don’t feel you must reply to every message instantly, and sometimes put your phone down and out of reach to give yourself a break.  

We finish where we started, think about your interests.

What do you enjoy doing? What are you passionate about? You might love drawing, singing, writing, or sewing. You might have been involved in a group before you had your children and not found time for it since. Why not use summer to restart a hobby you have enjoyed in the past?  

Reference 

https://www.annafreud.org/parents-and-carers/self-care-for-parents-and-carers/