Guilt-free ‘me time’

A recent poll from Bupa [1] about the pressure on mothers to be ‘super’ has also revealed how many mums find it hard to make time for ourselves. In their survey of 1000 mothers in the UK, 69% agree to feeling guilty about taking time out for themselves and 49% agree they don’t feel they deserve it. 

For most of us the drive to be productive, and the endless list of things to be done, means that any ‘downtime’ we get is filled with housework, cooking or life admin. These are all important tasks, but they do need to be thought of as work – not downtime!  

Being a parent is a fulltime job, and one that requires great emotional effort as well as the physical load. It’s important for all parents to view their time to themself as a valuable part of parenting as well as looking after themselves. We can’t be there in the way we want to for others when we’re exhausted or emotionally drained.  

We all need ways to recharge and refresh ourselves. As well as revealing the pressure and guilt we feel, the survey showed that mums are using downtime in a huge variety of positive ways like meeting friends, watching TV, catching up online and doing your own hobbies or exercise.  

If you’re finding it hard to justify doing these little things for yourself, or feeling guilty when you do, remember that it is a positive thing for your whole family – avoiding parental burnout is so important for all of you. [2]  

Remember that your child learns from what you do. You want them to have a balanced approach to life so taking time for yourself, without feeling guilty about it, will give them a brilliant example to follow!  

References: 

[1] Bupa UK research amongst 1,000 mums in the UK with children aged 0-16, to explore how parenting pressures have impacted on their mental health and self-esteem. March 2022. Available online: https://www.bupa.com/news/press-releases/2022/normal-mums  

[2] Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J.J. and Roskam, I. (2019) ‘Parental Burnout: What Is It, and Why Does It Matter?’ Clinical Psychological Science, 7:6 1319-1329. Available online: https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702619858430 

[3] Table 2: How mums use their downtime in Bupa UK research amongst 1,000 mums in the UK with children aged 0-16, to explore how parenting pressures have impacted on their mental health and self-esteem. March 2022. Available online: https://www.bupa.com/news/press-releases/2022/normal-mums