Busy crowds and curious children – what to do if you lose your child in a public place

Summertime is filled with opportunities to explore new places, socialise at big events and take your children to have experiences they will remember forever.  

But it may also be an anxious time when you realise what it's like to be with one or more small children in a crowded, unfamiliar space... because you worry about losing them!  

There is no way to completely remove the risk of losing your child when you are out and about, but there are plenty of things you can do to prepare them, and yourself, for the possibility, and make sure everyone knows what to do if it happens.  

Although nobody wants to think about this heart-stopping situation, it is better to have prepared for it. This preparation will depend on your child’s age, of course, but there are some things to think about ahead of time which will mean both you and your child feel more confident to handle the scary situation if it happens.  

Make sure they have your contact details on them. Write your phone number on clothes labels, on socks, pop a note in a pocket, or make a wristband with your number on it. If your child is not yet talking, make it somewhere visible. Older children can be told where their details are, so they can give them to someone safe to call you. If you can, teach them your contact number so they know it by heart.  

Teach them your full name. This is so they can ask people to look for you and call out your real name (not ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’). This will help other adults find you more quickly and will be an easier sound for you to pick out in a crowd.  

Talk through what to do if your child ever becomes lost. You can do this from a young age, around two years old, through simple chats and role-play games, using puppets or as a story (although avoid making it a bedtime story in case it brings up worries that stop them sleeping).  

Teach them that it is best to stay where they are. If children find themselves lost, they should try to find a place to stand or sit where they are and alert people that they need help.  

Teach them to call out your name as loudly as they can. If your child realises they’re lost, teach them to start by taking a deep breath to help calm themselves, and then call out for you as loudly as they can. The chances are you’re still close by and will find them very quickly.  

Explain who your child should ask for help if they are lost. This should ideally be people wearing uniforms – police officers, security guards or employees at your location. You can also encourage your child to approach a person with children, as they are likely to want to help reunite a lost child. If your child can speak, they should learn to say “I’m (name), I’m lost”, as well as giving your name and details. 

Of course, there is never any way to absolutely identify a safe person in a crowd of strangers, but by approaching these people and making themselves known by being very loudly lost your child will have plenty of adult eyes on them in a short space of time.  

On the day, as well as making sure everyone in your group is aware of the safety plans you have in place, you can do a few things to help make sure you both feel confident.  

Dress your child in bright colours or a distinctive outfit so they stand out in a crowd. Take some family photos before you head out, in a worst-case scenario you then have an accurate photo to share with people helping you look for your child.  

Take a moment to go over your plan when you arrive. Point out the employees to your child and talk about their uniform so they are recognisable later on. If appropriate, you could also point out any offices or landmarks that might help them if they become lost. 

The moment you realise you have lost sight of your child is an awful one, even if it only lasts a second, but if this happens remember your plans and some simple rules of thumb.  

Be as loud as you can while looking for them. Call out their description and ask other adults (especially employees of the location) to help you look. Our instinct might be to search frantically but quietly until we find our child to avoid a fuss, but the more people who know when someone needs help, the better.  

Inform an employee or security person as soon as possible. Most busy family attractions will have a plan for helping to find a lost child, which can be put into place quickly when they know it’s needed. 

Be very clear when you describe your child. Other adults will be able to find your child faster if they know what they are looking for rather than only having a name. For example, you might say, “I have lost my son. He is three, has brown hair and is wearing a yellow and green striped top.” 

Often children will be close to the last place you saw them. If you have enough adults with you, make sure one stays where you were last together in case your child finds their way back. If you can’t, ask employees for help to make sure someone is there to look out for your child.  

In most cases you will be reunited with your child quickly, and will need plenty of hugs all round to help you all recover from the huge spike of fear the moment caused. If you are worried it is taking too long to find your child, work with the employees of the attraction or place you’re at and call the police for support to find them. You will know you are as prepared as a person could ever be with a safety plan, contact details and photos ready to share.