“Boys don’t cry” – erm, yes, they do!
When it comes to children’s mental health, there are still expectations surrounding gender. A study by the Fawcett Society found that both educators and parents felt that gendered assumptions and stereotypes stopped young boys’ ability to talk about their emotions. So, what can we do about this?
The Fawcett Society report, Unlimited Potential, which was released in late 2020, looked at educators and parents of early years children, as well as toys. They explored the idea of gender stereotypes among young children, and the negative effects that were had – especially on childhood mental health.
Of the parents that took part in the study, 74% felt as though boys and girls were treated differently in childhood, and 60% said that they thought that this had a negative impact. Early years educators also took part, and 64% of those that took part in the study agreed that stereotypes in childhood negatively affected boys’ abilities to talk about their emotions.
Comments and misconceptions
Many parents have experienced misconceptions or unwelcome comments from others that don’t reflect their own view of parenting their own children. It can be hard to raise your children in a world that is still set in ways that you feel treats them differently based on their gender, especially when you are worried that these common misconceptions or stereotypes can be harmful.
When you hear the phrases “little boys don’t…” or “little girls don’t…”, do you cringe a little inside? Maybe it could be time to (gently) challenge these outdated comments?
So, what next?
Children are influenced very much by their home and personal community, so it is important that you make this a place where your child feels safe and secure enough to talk to you, or others that they are close to, about their thoughts and feelings – whatever they may be. Childhood is a time where a wide range of emotions are experienced (some that are brand new, too) so it is important to keep an open dialogue about this.
It is also important to keep in mind that feelings and mental health have no gender. Boys cry, and sometimes girls shout and get angry. How we express ourselves is not decided by gender – it is down to individuals.
Things to do at home
One thing that was recommended by the Fawcett Society was to look at the opportunities available to your children at home. What toys are in the house? Do you have construction toys for boys and princesses for girls? It’s tricky when it comes to toys, especially when family and friends want to treat your children, but maybe you could strip back the stereotypes and even introduce open-ended items such as simple blocks, boxes and paper.
The study also touched upon the language used around children in relation to gender differences and expectations. For instance, it was suggested that generalised language can sometimes lead to children fixing unimportant differences in their minds – differences that don’t even exist!
By encouraging children to be open about thoughts, feelings and opinions, and providing a range of opportunities, you can help them feel open to discuss what is going on inside, and support them in becoming happy, confident and free of unhelpful expectations.
For more information, check out the full report here: