Behind the headlines: Is shouting at children as bad for their mental health as physical abuse?
Over the past few weeks there have been a lot of headlines warning that shouting at children causes the same level of harm to their mental health as physical and sexual abuse. Lots of parents have seen these headlines and panicked, asking us for more information.
Before you spend too much time frantically trying to remember when you last raised your voice in frustration, read on to see why the headlines don’t tell the full story of this research study.
The news has been reporting the results of a recent review of research[1] into how different kinds of abuse impact children, but lots of the headlines have misrepresented the research. This is only adding to the long list of things parents are worried about, so does it really need to?
What are the headlines claiming?
Headlines like ‘Shouting at children can be as damaging as physical or sexual abuse, study says’[2] and ‘Shouting at Children Is Abuse, Says New Study’[3] are incredibly powerful.
They suggest that the research found that shouting at children in any context, and any amount, is as harmful as hitting them.
They probably make you think of the last time you shouted at your child, and might even ring true at some level as shouting always feels bad for everyone involved.
But the implication that the research shows that any and all shouting at children is equivalent to other forms of abuse is simply not backed up by the research itself.
What's the study they’re talking about?
The research which sparked these headlines came from a project run by University College London and Wingate University in the USA. They gathered 166 existing studies into the verbal abuse of children and reviewed the findings of all these studies looking for patterns in what that abuse looks like, and what impact it has.
This study is called ‘Childhood verbal abuse as a child maltreatment subtype: A systematic review of the current evidence’.
Its goal is to help identify and bring attention to verbal abuse as a specific kind of abuse, to make sure it is identified and dealt with alongside other things which bring harm to children.
What the research is really saying, and what it means for you
Because its focus was on verbal abuse specifically, this research did look at the impact of shouting at children and (unsurprisingly) found that it is damaging for children to experience being shouted at – in the context of verbal abuse.
Included in their definition of verbal abuse is behaviour or using language which will have a negative impact on a child’s wellbeing including belittling them, frequently shouting at them, calling them names and using threatening language.
It seems unsurprising, when you see this in context, that the research has found that children who experience this kind of verbal abuse are impacted in similar ways as those who experience other kinds of abuse.
But importantly, the research was not looking at shouting in all contexts.
Although the headlines might make it seem like permanent damage is done every time you raise your voice to stop your child running away from you in a car park or find yourself frustrated by their refusal to put socks on when you’re in a rush... this is just not the kind of shouting looked at in the study.
So, you don’t need to be feeling any additional guilt after these moments.
As always, it's important to take the time to calm together and address the issues that surrounded any shouting or upsets.
This helps both you and your child recover from the difficult feelings that come with conflict and will help them learn how to repair relationships after difficult moments.
Depending on their age, and what feels right for your family, repairing after shouting in the context of frustration, worry or exhaustion might look like a hug, an apology or a more in-depth chat about what happened and how it could go differently next time.
Most importantly, give yourself the care and forgiveness you would give a friend in those moments and know that (despite the headlines) you don’t need to pile on the guilt and worry over an occasionally raised voice.
If you do have concerns about a child or family you know experiencing verbal abuse, or any other form of abuse, you can contact the NSPCC online or call them on 0808 800 5000 for advice.
The charity Words Matter is raising awareness of verbal abuse and how to support families, their website has advice and support for anyone who would like to know more.
References:
[1] Dube S.R, Li E.T, Fiorini G, Lin C, Singh N, Khamisa K, McGowan J and Fonagy P. (2023) ‘Childhood verbal abuse as a child maltreatment subtype: A systematic review of the current evidence’. Child Abuse & Neglect, 2023;144:106394
[2] Headline from The Guardian 02nd October 2023, accessible online here: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/oct/02/shouting-at-children-can-be-as-damaging-as-physical-or-sexual-abuse-study-says
[3] Headline from Health News 04th October 2023, accessible online here: https://healthnews.com/news/shouting-at-children-is-abuse/