Why your Christmas break might feature the odd tantrum

At this time of year, we often hear that young children might not act like themselves. We are here to tell you why that’s completely normal and give you some top tips to help you through it! 

The end of the year is often full to the brim with days out, visiting relatives, changes to routine, and quite a few additional treats on top of normal mealtimes, not to mention that life also carries on, so you also have your day-to-day commitments to keep on top of. With so much going on, you might notice even us grown-ups can feel overwhelmed and out of sorts at this time of year, and this is exactly why your child might be acting out too. 

While we as adults have developed the ability to regulate our emotions, our children’s brains simply have not! When they begin to experience strong feelings related to being excited, tired, happy, sad, hungry, full of sugar or overwhelmed, they don’t yet have the tools to process and react to those emotions, and it is our job to help them work out how to cope with the feelings they’re experiencing. 

How you can help 

What was happening in the lead-up to your child being unable to regulate their emotions? Were they tired, hungry, overwhelmed or being asked to share something they didn’t want to share? These are all developmentally appropriate reasons to be upset when you’re a child.

In the midst of them feeling big emotions, if you respond with big emotions, it will quickly escalate. So, where you can, help them to find calm with a hug, a safe space to be on their own or whatever is useful for your child to find calm. 

3. Once calm, talk to them about their feelings 

Even if your child is unable to articulate how they were feeling, try to describe to them why they might be feeling the way they are. It is thought that naming feelings help to tame the feeling, and so saying “I can see you were feeling cross when your sister took your toy off you”, can help them to process it as an emotion related to an event. 

4. Try to avoid things that will make them overwhelmed

You don’t have to see everybody you know, clean the house, reorganise the children’s toys and set New Year’s resolutions this week. Think about what serves you and your family and makes you all happy. That might mean doing some of these things, but it might also mean saying no to some too. 

5. Plan periods of rest and reset 

Plan into your busy schedules the odd hour, afternoon, or day for complete rest. Stay in your PJs and relax. It is good for you all. 

Our last tip is to remind yourself that it is only a phase and will be over soon enough. Try to focus on and stay present in the lovely moments of pure joy, of which there will be many to enjoy this festive period.