The bedroom doesn’t need finishing – five myths about prepping for a baby

Understandably, and rightly, as you move through your pregnancy and towards becoming a parent, you’ll want to start prepping for your baby arriving. This is a great way to channel and embrace the excitement. It can also help with calming any nerves and help you to feel a bit more in control of an experience which might be entirely new to you.   

But how much preparation is really required? And do you actually need a room full of toys? Here we discuss five myths about things you have to do before having a baby. You might just sigh a breath of relief.  

My baby’s bedroom must be completely finished

First up, babies do not care one bit about whether the wallpaper matches the blanket on the chair, or whether the carpet has a stain on it. They have zero opinion on how their bedroom looks.  

Also, often (not always), babies spend the initial months of their lives sleeping in your bedroom anyway. In my case, our first baby spent the first six months in a Moses basket next to our bed, making me question why I nagged my husband to keep going with the paintbrush right up until the day before she was born. I wish we’d gone out for breakfast instead! Our fourth child didn’t even have a bedroom to move into until he was eight months old. If you asked him how he felt about this fact, I’m pretty sure he would look at you blankly.     

My baby needs to have a wide range of toys

Again, with my first I was ready and waiting with a brightly coloured, all-singing caterpillar toy from day one. I also had a ton of other plastic cluttering up our living room. She never slept much in the day, ever. In hindsight, I’m not entirely sure that the caterpillar helped, ha.

For the first few weeks and even months of a baby’s life, they need far less than you’d imagine in terms of toys. On the My First Five Years app, we talk a lot about everyday items and activities that can help with development. With a very young baby, these include things like the touch of your hand, watching your facial movements and letting them feel interesting textures beneath their body.

Your young baby will get everything they need from being close to you, hearing your voice and going for walks in their pram. By all means buy some toys if you’d like to, a few carefully chosen toys can feel nice, but if you can’t afford to spend money on them right now, or don’t have much space, please be reassured that this will not be a problem. You may well find that you are also better placed to choose toys once they have arrived in the world, and you can follow their interests.  

I need to have ALL the kit

Ahhh, the pressure to have ALL the kit. And the confusion that comes with trying to source ALL the kit. Of course, there will be some basic items that are good to have sorted, such as a car seat (if you drive), a pram (probably useful), and somewhere for your baby to sleep. But it isn’t necessary to have everything bought and ready before your baby is born. Actually, it isn’t necessary to have everything full stop.  

It can be hard not to rush out and buy that new gadget that your friend says is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, but what she needs and what you need might well be different. For example, there are so many brilliant baby wearing slings on the market. All of them fit and look slightly different. Once our baby was born, I found a baby sling library close by that let me try a load on before I committed. You can save money, and time, by waiting.  

I must have a clean house with food planned and prepped

Batch cooking some food is a lovely idea. Genuinely great. You will be tired and full of hormones and having plenty of nutritious food at the ready to counteract the truck loads of digestive biscuits that you’ll no doubt consume is admirable.  

But also, if it doesn’t happen, it's not the end of the world. Babies do not always read the rules on when they should arrive, for one thing. And sometimes life can feel a little full-on in the run up to giving birth or becoming a parent. Perhaps you are finishing up at work, visiting friends or painting a bedroom (did you read point one?). Please do not put any pressure on yourself at this stage to achieve a perfect-looking home. And that includes preparing your house for visitors – NOT necessary. A pizza will always do the trick for dinner, and if people want anything other than a cup of tea, they need to bring it themselves! 

I need to get my body looking good for giving birth

Bear with me here. With my first baby I wanted to sort my bikini line, I painted my toenails (or tried to over my bump) and even planned which outfit I wanted to give birth in. Obviously, when the time came, I wasn’t too concerned with my body hair and never made it into my chosen outfit (which – don’t laugh – was a lovely black jumper dress. Yes, I planned to give birth in a little black dress). With subsequent births, I realised that midwives had more important things to think about than my bikini line, and I was all about the comfort.   

A caveat here. If doing these things makes you feel good, if you want to do this sort of thing, then you DEFINITELY should. And to some degree, I do think that with our first baby this did make me feel special. I wanted to look at my best the first time I met my daughter. It was another way of feeling a bit more in control.   

But, please do not think that any of this is necessary preparation. Honestly, doctors and nurses have seen so many bodies and the way yours looks right now is just perfect. Just as there is no need to apologise for swearing or crying or shouting, there is no need to apologise for your legs being hairy or for having mascara down your cheeks.  

Prepare instead by thinking about what makes you feel GOOD, really good, in the final weeks of your pregnancy and do more of that. Hopefully it includes lots of lying on the sofa eating donuts, bobbing about in swimming pools and watching television, reading or knitting; basically, whatever makes you feel calm and happy. 

There’s a limit to how much you can actually prepare, and I do think that in a strange way, accepting this limit does prepare you for the uncertainty and randomness of parenthood. You do have to be flexible and adaptable, and you will probably buy some stuff you don’t ever use because we all feel the need to prove we are ready and capable and that we love these little beings with all our souls. But there is nothing to prove. You have everything they need. You are everything they need.  

And besides which, nowadays you can relax, knowing that even if there really is something you can’t live without, you can probably get it delivered the next day anyway!