Talking to children about the news

When there’s big news, we know it becomes almost impossible to avoid. And that means we might need to think about how to talk to our young children about it! The news of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, or other big news stories, might capture your child’s interest or make them worry. 

With children under five remember, if you don’t want them to worry about the news the best option is to ensure they don’t see or hear it. This isn’t always easy. For huge news it would include making sure the TV or radio is off during news shows, that newspapers or phones showing news are kept away from children’s eagle eyes and (perhaps hardest of all) making sure adults are not discussing it within our little ones’ (often shockingly good) hearing.  

If you feel you need to explain the news, or your child has asked about it, it is important to be clear and honest with your answers. Especially for children who attend school or nursery where their friends might share information you want them to learn that you are a trusted and reliable place to come for information. Here are some ideas to help with conversations about big or scary news events.   

• Find a calm, relaxed space to chat. Make sure you both have time to talk through their worries. If your child as questions at a busy moment, reassure them they are safe with you and suggest a time to discuss it later. “I can see you’re worried, and I want to make sure we can talk about this as much as you need. Let’s sit down when we get home and you can ask me any questions you want.” 
• Remember your reaction will matter. Make sure you react in the way you want them to feel. If you can, staying calm and rational will reassure your child there is no need to panic or worry.  
• You know your child best so adjust answers to their level of maturity and understanding. Rather than giving them lots of information, start by asking what they know already and what their worries are. This gives a wonderful insight into how much they have understood, or misunderstood, and is a good point to start from. In some cases you will find that correcting misconceptions (such as where things are happening, or what certain words mean) is enough for your child, without having to give them details. 
• Focus on their safety. Children under eight years old can find it hard to keep reality, fears and fantasy separate. When talking about events in the news focus on reassuring them they and their home are safe.  
• It’s okay not to know. If you don’t know how to answer, or what the facts are, when your child asks a question it is always okay to say you don’t know. Offer to find out, and take that time to think about how you want to approach the topic. You can let your child know, “I’m not sure I know the answer. I will go and find out, and come back to you with some information.” 

• Look for the helpers. If your child is ready, talk about ways they can help and focus on this. You could give money or supplies to charity collections, write letters to your local government, reach out to local families directly affected... your child may have their own ideas on how to help too. As Fred Rogers said "When something scary is happening, look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." 

Please note, if you, your family or friends are being directly affected these tips might not be right for your situation. Please reach out to your support network to make sure they know what help you would most value – a listening ear, practical help with the children or housework, or simply distraction for a little while. Don’t be afraid to let people know exactly what sort of support you most need at any moment.