Find your calm – so you can help your toddler find theirs

What to try 

• Take a moment, when everything is quiet (or as quiet as possible), and think about the sensations you experience when you are sad, angry, worried or frustrated.  
• You might feel a little hotter, or notice your heartbeat, you might have a sensation of wobbly legs, or ‘butterflies’ in your stomach.  
• Noticing these physical sensations can help you recognise when you are starting to feel less calm, which might sometimes be when your toddler is also feeling sad or angry.  
• Practise some things that might help when you notice these feelings – what helps is different for everyone. You might need to take a few deep, calming breaths, stand up and walk about a little, look into the distance and think about what you can see or something else.  
• Practising these calming actions, when you’re relaxed, will help when you need them in situations when you are starting to feel upset, angry or frustrated, which might be when your toddler shares those feelings. 

Good to know 

You won’t be able to judge when your toddler will suddenly become upset about an event or situation that they seemed happy with a moment ago, or how they might react to a request from you.

Sometimes your toddler’s emotional reaction to you asking them to stop a behaviour, or to do a particular thing for you, can seem overwhelming to you as well as to them, so having some tried and tested ways to centre yourself can help you feel more in control in the moment.